I don’t buy many gifts. However, if I am out and happen to see something that reminds me of someone that I care about I get it for them when money allows.
The other day I managed to hitch a ride with a coworker for the rare treat of shopping in a neighboring town. It had been years since I had enjoyed the pleasure so I savored the ability to pick out several gifts for loved ones. I got some things for my daughter Katie, my grandson, and my very first granddaughter who is due to arrive in the next few weeks.
One item in particular made me smile when I stumbled across it. It reminded me of something that a friend and I would do back when we were kids. I snagged the item along with something else that I thought would give her pleasure to use in her home.
With a toss of her head and a wave of her hand she refused to even examine the items.
“I’m not into stuff like that,” she sniffed.
I was hurt. While she thanked me offhand for thinking of her I was still floored. I had cared enough to carefully select items that she would enjoy and that were useful. While I didn’t expect her to keep the items forever (they were designed to be used and then discarded), I was hurt that she refused to even give them more than a cursory glance.
I have a rule for people who do things like that. I neither buy nor accept gifts from them again. I’ve had this rule for many years. It eliminates having to worry about whether or not the person will actually accept my offerings as well as the pain of rejection should they refuse, while also preventing any disparity that would arise from unbalanced gift-giving.
Before this event occurred I had been saving money towards a rather expensive item that I knew my friend needed. Since I now know that my friend has a tendency to refuse gifts outright I have shelved my plans. The money will be added to my computer fund.
Do you have a rule concerning gifts to other people? Please share your stories in the comments below.