Category Archives: Simplicity

The Magic of Decision

Published / by Annie / 3 Comments on The Magic of Decision

I’ve lived in this little house for close to seven years. In that time I’ve never gotten around to making the little touches that turn a house into a home. I didn’t see the point since I didn’t know how long I was going to live here. Was I going to upgrade to another house, move into an RV, or thin down to almost nothing and travel once the kid was gone?

I honestly didn’t know. Something deep inside of me was restless so rather than waste time, money, and effort getting comfortable here I just made do in several areas. I would probably relocate after the kid left for college anyway, I reasoned.

I spent the first few days in shock after the kid turned 18. The knowledge that I was legally free of the responsibilities of parenthood and could do what I wanted did not compute. What would I do? While I still had a year before she left for college, I needed to get cracking!

But then I realized something: I am happy here. I like the house, I like the area, I even like the simple job that allows me to pay my bills while pursuing my simple passions.

I didn’t have to move. I didn’t have to travel. I didn’t have to go out in search of answers or happiness or even adventure.

I had enough right here, right now. I could settle down and stay right here.

As a result of finally making a decision I’ve finally started to settle in. I purchased a set of curtains to begin the adventure of making this little house a home. Once I accomplish the goal of getting my window treatments sorted I’ll move on to another.

Many people fail to realize how liberating it can be to make a decision. It frees you from considering other possibilities and allows you to focus on a single path instead of worrying about all of the other paths you could or should be taking.

For me personally, making the decision to remain here even after the kid moves out eliminated a stress that I didn’t even know I was carrying. It allowed me to admit that I didn’t need to travel. I didn’t need to move, change my circumstances, chase some dream or fulfil some magical bucket list.

I am happy right where I’m at.

What decisions have you held off making? Please share your stories in the comments below.

A Rule About Gifts

Published / by Annie

I don’t buy many gifts. However, if I am out and happen to see something that reminds me of someone that I care about I get it for them when money allows.

The other day I managed to hitch a ride with a coworker for the rare treat of shopping in a neighboring town. It had been years since I had enjoyed the pleasure so I savored the ability to pick out several gifts for loved ones. I got some things for my daughter Katie, my grandson, and my very first granddaughter who is due to arrive in the next few weeks.

One item in particular made me smile when I stumbled across it. It reminded me of something that a friend and I would do back when we were kids. I snagged the item along with something else that I thought would give her pleasure to use in her home.

With a toss of her head and a wave of her hand she refused to even examine the items.

“I’m not into stuff like that,” she sniffed.

I was hurt. While she thanked me offhand for thinking of her I was still floored. I had cared enough to carefully select items that she would enjoy and that were useful. While I didn’t expect her to keep the items forever (they were designed to be used and then discarded), I was hurt that she refused to even give them more than a cursory glance.

I have a rule for people who do things like that. I neither buy nor accept gifts from them again. I’ve had this rule for many years. It eliminates having to worry about whether or not the person will actually accept my offerings as well as the pain of rejection should they refuse, while also preventing any disparity that would arise from unbalanced gift-giving.

Before this event occurred I had been saving money towards a rather expensive item that I knew my friend needed. Since I now know that my friend has a tendency to refuse gifts outright I have shelved my plans. The money will be added to my computer fund.

Do you have a rule concerning gifts to other people? Please share your stories in the comments below.

A New Gadget

Published / by Annie / 4 Comments on A New Gadget

I am not a fan of single purpose gadgets. In my opinion, it is better in most cases to spend a little more money for a device that will serve many purposes than to have a collection of single-purpose devices laying about.

However, there are times when a single purpose device makes sense. For instance, it can be prohibitively expensive to purchase and repair a combination washing machine/dryer for your clothes. By investing in the single purpose washing machines and dryers, you will save money in the long run on repairs alone.

That said, there was one single purpose device that I told myself that I would never buy. I saw no point in purchasing a Kindle ebook reader since I could read the ebooks I purchased on my computer, my iPad mini, or a number of other devices. Unfortunately, since my injury I have a problem with backlit screens. While I can use them for short periods of time if I dim the screen, reading on a backlit device for long periods of time is entirely out of the question.

My friend’s daughter (technically my God-Daughter) loaned me her Kindle paperwhite as a test. When it ended up being a game changer I saved up the money and invested in a Kindle of my own. As a result I am now able to read my significant library of books in comfort again.

Part of me feels guilty about buying the Kindle. To ease the pain of my purchase, I went with the cheapest Kindle they had, complete with ads (as much as I hate them). Right now I could not justify spending an extra $20 to avoid them.

For the record, I am extremely grateful to be able to read my ebooks again.

What was the last single purpose item you purchased and why? Please share your story in the comments below.

Recharging

Published / by Annie / 2 Comments on Recharging

Between work, volunteering at the local animal rescue, helping my friend get sorted, and the myriad other things I’ve been doing lately my batteries ran down. I felt myself growing less and less energetic as the days wore on.

When the kid woke me up on my day off to spend time with me before she went to work and I found myself still feeling exhausted, I decided that it was time to recharge. As soon as she left I locked my door and went back to bed.

I turned off the ringer on Google Hangouts so I wouldn’t be disturbed by phone calls. I muted all notifications from everyone. I ignored the things around the house that needed to be done in favor of giving myself what I needed: rest.

I spent the day sleeping. When I wasn’t asleep, I stayed in bed and read a book. I turned on some music during one trip to the bathroom but other than that I didn’t touch my computer. I didn’t even bother to answer the door when people came knocking.

I feel a lot more rested this morning as a result. True, the house didn’t get tidied and my friends are wondering why the heck I dropped off the face of the earth for a day but that’s okay. I needed time for me, and I took it.

This is minimalism at its finest. Reducing or eliminating the unimportant to make space for what you truly need. As a result of my impromptu vacation from Life, I’ve had the energy this morning to work up several blog posts and take care of some other writing duties that I had started to fall behind on.

Life has a way of sweeping us along with requests and obligations for our time that can overwhelm us before we realize what is happening. If we’re not careful the day will come when we wake up, not because we want to, but because we have so many things we need to do for other people.

Every so often, we need to take some time to recharge. Turn off the phone, disconnect the Internet, curl up with a good book, or just sleep. Ignore the door when somebody knocks. Unless it happens to be Emergency Services (you can always peek out your window and check), everything else can wait until tomorrow.

When was the last time you took time to recharge? Please share your stories in the comments below.

A Quiet Solution

Published / by Annie / 4 Comments on A Quiet Solution

My friend and her family (I mentioned them in an earlier post) have finally moved down from Michigan. Until they find a place they are camped out in my tiny house. As a result, privacy is virtually impossible to come by at home and the quiet time I need in order to write is completely nonexistent.

I could gripe and complain but I see no point. I knew that things would be challenging from the moment my friend expressed an interest in moving back to Kentucky. As a result, I decided to get creative.

On the days I am not working at my day job I load up my two laptops and take a walk to the local library. I fire up my 11 year old XP laptop, work up my posts and other writings, then transfer them to my Linux laptop and upload them when I’m done.

It sounds like a lot of work but it is worth it. I have everything set up on the XP in order for me to write comfortably without distractions and have absolutely no desire to use a more modern computer that will go online.

The librarian looks at me askance when I arrive with my big bag of gear but leaves me alone otherwise. I honestly couldn’t care less if she does think I’m rather strange. I am solving a problem with a minimum of fuss and that is all that matters.

How have you gotten creative to solve a problem recently? Please share your stories in the comments below.

Maintaining Balance

Published / by Annie / 5 Comments on Maintaining Balance

Back to school season is always a bit hectic around here. A local church hosts a free yard sale that is packed with donations and yard sale discards that would normally end up in the trash while the local clothing closet has a yard sale where you can purchase bags filled with the clothing of your choice for a dollar apiece.

Along with that we have to go to school registration day and make the trip to WalMart for Katie’s and Donavon’s (my grandson’s) school supplies.

Each of these acquisition trips are accompanied with purging. When new clothes come in, old clothes go out. The ones that have been worn into rags are discarded while the items that are in good shape are bagged up and donated to the local clothing closet for them to either distribute among those who need clothing or to sell during their bag sales.

This is one way that we maintain balance in our lives. Since our space is limited, we refuse to allow our possessions to grow beyond what our house can comfortably handle.

What do you do to maintain balance?

Seven Truths About Minimalism

Published / by Annie / 2 Comments on Seven Truths About Minimalism

Modern minimalism is misunderstood by many in this modern age. It is believed that if you can’t fit all of your possessions in a backpack then you are not a minimalist. The truth about minimalism is far different.

I have practiced minimalism for close to a decade now—I didn’t even learn that I was a minimalist until several years after I began my journey. These are the truths I have learned from my experience. The true key to minimalism is to find the balance that works for you. I sincerely hope that this list helps.

  1. You can own things and still be a minimalist. The trick is to not allow yourself to become so attached to your possessions that you sacrifice your quality of life to acquire and care for your stuff.

For instance, say you decide to make a cross-country move or to travel. Instead of either discarding the desire or financing an expensive move (or storage in the event of travel) you eliminate everything but the essentials to reduce the cost and ease the burden of logistics. In the event of a disaster, you toss your essentials into a bag and bug out, leaving the rest to fate. If something happens that destroys your home, instead of mourning the loss of your possessions, you know that you have the most important things with you and just move on from the experience.

If your possessions begin to overwhelm your home, instead of spending money to rent a storage unit (or moving to a bigger home) you eliminate the excess until you get to the point where you are comfortable again.

  1. You can have children and still be a minimalist. You can even own pets if you want. While you can’t eliminate your children (and shouldn’t eliminate your pets) in the event of a move or a financial crisis, you can have these in your life and still practice the minimalist lifestyle.
  2. Extreme minimalism is not practical for the long haul. While it is a wonderful way to live while traveling and can save you a fortune in money and a bunch of headaches, if you decide to settle down in one place for a period of time minimalism can become a burden. You will end up sacrificing more time and money than if you were to stock up on certain items.

For instance, if you only purchase the minimum of personal care products (soap, shampoo, bathroom tissue, etc.) at a time, you will spend more money in the long run to keep yourself supplied. If money gets tight you might not even be able to afford these things. Therefore, buying larger containers and stocking up when items are on sale makes practical and financial sense if you are going to stay in one area for a time. Few things are more awkward than getting holes in the only two pairs of pants that you own when you can’t afford to replace them.

  1. Minimalist alternatives to certain items can be more expensive than traditional choices. Multi-function appliances and devices tend to cost significantly more to purchase, maintain, and repair then traditional items. A washer-dryer combo costs more to purchase and can be difficult to get repaired in the event of a failure than owning individual washer and dryer units. EBooks can cost more than purchasing a used copy of the physical book. Digital copies of music and movies can cost significantly more than picking up physical copies at yard sales and thrift shops. If you enjoy owning the books that you read, the movies you watch, or the music you listen to, you can save a significant amount of money by purchasing used physical copies over purchasing the digital editions in many cases.
  2. Extreme minimalism over time can become uncomfortable. It is nice to have a bit of variety in your wardrobe or to have a comfortable bed to sleep in. A simple table and chairs can work wonders for the comfort level of your houseguests. While you don’t need near as much as society wants you to believe, a certain amount of possessions can make life much more pleasant. It is nice to have a refrigerator to store cold items. It is wonderful to own a hotplate or some other way to prepare food. It is incredibly convenient to have the ability to toss things into a washing machine instead of having to arrange a trip to the Laundromat. If you live out in the country, lack of transportation can turn a pleasurable experience into a nightmare, and trying to read for long periods of time on a computer, tablet, or similar backlit device can put excessive strain on your eyes and cause headaches.
  3. Long term minimalism is best accomplished by baby steps. Drastic changes have a habit of backfiring into regret. It is best to start small by thinning out one area at a time to eliminate the obvious excess. Continue this procedure until you reach your personal level of enough.
  4. Everyone’s version of minimalism is different. We each have our own set of preferences and habits that will affect the choices we make in our possessions. For instance, I don’t like television so I don’t own one but I do have an assortment of older laptops that I use daily. Someone else may prefer watching television or playing games on a television but have no desire to own a computer. Instead of a collection of computers, they might own a television and a variety of game systems or media players. Neither choice is wrong if they fit the lifestyle of the person in question.

If you are thinking about pursuing the minimalist lifestyle, consider these facts before you do anything drastic. They may mean the difference between enjoying a better life of being miserable from what becomes a failed experiment.

Crowded House

Published / by Annie / 4 Comments on Crowded House

The other day my friend from Michigan moved her family to this area. Until they get situated with employment and housing they are all staying here.

I must confess that I was concerned about this. Five adults (since Katie is almost 18), two dogs, and two cats living in a 500 square foot one-bedroom house means that we are stacked up like cordwood.

I have learned that it isn’t near as bad as I expected it to be.

For one, we all work together in a spirit of cooperation. While two of the adults have yet to secure employment (one is physically incapable of working), the rest of us are now employed. When schedules match up, my friend insists on driving me to work and picking me up to make my life a bit easier. We come home from work in the evenings to find that the others have prepared meals for the family and tidied up the house.

At night, since I have to keep a somewhat regular sleeping schedule due to my personal health issues (my brain glitches when my sleep schedule is disrupted) I am usually one of the first to go to bed. They move around stealthily that I don’t get disturbed. If one takes a nap in the evenings or is still asleep when I wake up, I give them the same consideration.

We even coordinate bathing schedules so that no one is caught unawares and has to go to the restroom while someone is taking a bath.

This experience has shown me that it truly is possible for a larger number of people to live in harmony in a small home provided you work together. While society tends to frown on such things, living in a small home can not only help families get on their feet after homelessness, it can help them live on less money when needed or desired. Let’s face it: it costs a lot less to live in a small place than it does to live in a big one.

I wanted to share this story because in my books I mentioned that I had reservations about a larger number of people living in really small homes. While I did point out that it has been done in the past, the thought made me nervous. Since then I have learned that it is definitely possible provided that mutual respect and cooperation abound with the family members.

I personally am grateful for the experience.

Have any of you lived in really tight conditions with other people? Please share your stories in the comments below.

To The Simple Living Haters

Published / by Annie / 16 Comments on To The Simple Living Haters

Over the years I have had so many people tell me that I am insane for keeping my bills low and living such a simple life. They have told me that I’m cruel to my daughter by forcing her to live in a small one-bedroom house (despite the fact that she gets the bedroom), and that I am depriving both her and myself of things that we need.

But you know what? Those haters can take a long walk off a short pier. Living a simple, frugal life has saved my ass more times than I can count.

And in recent times it managed to save us from being completely homeless.

As you know, I’ve been unable to work a public job for around two years. But guess what? Thanks to my extremely frugal lifestyle, my books generating passive income, and with help from my friends all of my bills are paid off with the exception of my rent bill (I’m working on that).

And guess what? I’m starting a nice, simple, part time job at a grocery store today. I’m not sure if I can do the work but by golly I am going to try!

The lifestyle that so many have condemned allowed me sufficient time to heal to the point to where I am now able to try working a bit. The lifestyle that so many have declared insane will allow me to work just a few hours a week to keep my bills paid up and continue paying my rent debt down.

The lifestyle that people have declared impractical has once again saved my ass. Literally.

So to all the haters out there who believe that a simple life isn’t worth the effort, you can kiss my behind. This lifestyle has saved me yet again.

I have survived the impossible. Again.

So the next time someone tells you that you shouldn’t reduce your recurring expenses, that you shouldn’t live in a simpler, less expensive home and ditch the fancy stuff, point them to this post.

It is time the world got a wakeup call.

Constant Connectivity

Published / by Annie / 6 Comments on Constant Connectivity

The other day I found myself thinking of the days of dial-up Internet connections. You went online, did your thing, and then went offline to go on with your day. As a result of the intermittent connection you didn’t have the constant interruptions. Your email wasn’t constantly pinging, your Facebook contacts weren’t constantly demanding your attention…when you were online, you were online, but when you were offline your time was your own once again.

It is easy in this modern age to lose track of time with the constant demands of others. Instead of being present with your family and friends, we stare at our phones as we text and communicate with everyone but the ones we are with.

This needs to change.

Now that my daughter is working at a public job we are no longer able to spend as much time with one another as we have in the past. Our interactions are crammed in between her school, her work, and her studies, so it has become much more valuable. At first I didn’t realize this but when my daughter came home after a stressful day at school I knew what had to be done. I messaged my friends and told them that my daughter was off for the evening and I needed to spend time with her. I then shut my computer down and did just that. We sat and talked for hours, eventually settling down on the couch to read books. Not talking by that point, just enjoying the company of one another as we did our own thing.

Of course I was hit with a bunch of messages when I went online this morning but that’s okay. My daughter was more important and I gave her the time that we both needed to reconnect.

I went to sleep thinking about this drive we now have to be constantly online. This pointless need to check our Facebook fifty times a day and to converse online with everyone but the person we happen to be face to face with and it disturbed me to realize just how far I’ve fallen. Instead of spending time with the person I love the most I spend it online doing pointless stuff.

The thought made me so angry that I was tempted to cancel my internet on the spot. However, I realized that the problem isn’t with the Internet, it is with me personally. It’s not the fault of the Internet that I spend too much time online any more than it is the fault of food that people overeat or the problem of alcohol that people become alcoholics. The problem is with ourselves and a lack of setting limits in our lives.

So this is me, setting another limit in my life. Just like I only eat when I am hungry (and stop when I’m full) I am only going to use the Internet to check my emails and surf occasionally. Instead of being constantly online I will go on, do my thing, and then return to my peaceful offline existence.

For the record I’m not sure how well I will manage this. The hardest part will be managing the expectations of others but it is something I need to do in order to reclaim my life.

Will you join me in this new goal?

Simple Indoor Hobbies for Everyday Happiness

Published / by Annie / 2 Comments on Simple Indoor Hobbies for Everyday Happiness

Written by Zak Andrews. 

 

Living a simpler life means you have to see the beauty in everyday things and activities. But in the midst of a hectic lifestyle, it’s sometimes hard to have spare time to sit back and relax. People are so busy with work and some even have extra jobs on the side. Others have businesses that require almost 24/7 attention. While being productive is great and necessary in the long term, there are times people forget the simpler things they have that can also bring them joy.

Verywell.com emphasized the importance of hobbies. They not only serve as outlets to relieve stress; they also provide small pleasures and happiness. Here are some simple hobbies you can do in your home to have your everyday dose of happiness and relaxation.

Learn a craft or two

Photo: Pixabay

Picking up a craft or two will not only increase your knowledge, it will also give you a sense of fulfillment after each project you have completed. At times, the creations you make may even give you an extra source of income.

Immersing yourself in DIY tasks is an excellent hobby, due to the fact that you can choose any type of object you like to create. As such, you will be happy with what you are doing. There are furniture, decorations, gardening projects, etc. Blankets, cushions, vases and storage boxes are some of the daily house items which are easy to make.

Watch shows and play games

Photo: Pixabay

There are thousands of great TV shows out there. Shows like The Good Wife or The Walking Dead, which was conceptualized with our little town in mind, will appeal to audiences who want a dose of drama or suspense.

Meanwhile, the acclaimed fantasy title Game of Thrones may have paused after Season 6, but nevertheless lots of people are anticipating the next arc in the story and fans are temporarily getting their GoT fix through related media inspired by the sensational series. Video games based on the medieval show now attract global attention as well, thanks to the popularity of the show. The famous Telltale Games which created a version for The Walking Dead also has their own take on Game of Thrones as a decision-driven narrative game; while the popular slots game platform Spin Genie collaborated with the show to bring titles like Game of Thrones 15 Lines to GoT fans worldwide. Either way, whether watching an episode of your favorite TV series or playing its game iteration, the effect is the same: it can help you unwind after a hard day’s work.

This is not just a baseless claim either, given that the stress-reducing capabilities of these visual hobbies are backed up by science. For example, research shared by Men’s Health tackled interactive games in particular, which were found to “evoke a stronger sense of relaxation”. There’s an abundance of studies that correlate watching TV or playing video games with relaxation.

Indulge in cooking

Photo: Pixabay

Cooking is one of best hobbies you can partake in. Indulging in food is among the guilty pleasures we all succumb to from time to time. Considering that there are innumerable cuisines from various cultures, you will never run out of things to try out, not to mention that you can acquire kitchen techniques which are highly useful. In our Food section, we’ve shared topics like bread making and meat tenderizing, both of which can be utilized in everyday living.

Of course, it’s also recommended to balance the kinds of food you eat to maintain a healthy body and lifestyle. Aside from regular meals and dishes, you can also check out healthier alternatives such as gluten-free recipes.

To sum it up, happiness is all around, even in the simple things that people have or do in their homes. What’s needed is to just appreciate everything around you and make the best of what you have. Don’t worry, be happy!

The New Shoestring Girl is now LIVE on Smashwords

Published / by Annie

Hello everyone!

Guess what? As soon as I started working in a program I remembered well from before I was hurt I managed to get this book properly formatted on the very first try!

It is now live on Smashwords here, and will be coming to Amazon, Apple, and other retailers soon.

I will let you know  just as soon as other retailers begin listing it; you can keep up to date on my Facebook page and the sales page here on Annienygma.

Thank you so much for your support!

The Shoestring Book is now in Print

Published / by Annie / 4 Comments on The Shoestring Book is now in Print

Amazingly, CreateSpace worked really fast; my book is already available for sale in print!

You can find it on Amazon and CreateSpace.

Katie and I are working as fast as we can on the ebook; I made a newbie mistake when I was creating it that has forced me to completely reformat it so that it will look right. Right now we’re taking turns doing this page by page. As soon as it is published I will let you know. We’ve got over 400 pages to reformat so this is going to take a little while, I’m afraid.

 

The New Shoestring Girl Book is Almost Ready!

Published / by Annie / 4 Comments on The New Shoestring Girl Book is Almost Ready!

Hello Everybody!

I am exhausted. I’ve been working at this non-stop since I last posted. In the end I had to get Katie to help because for the life of me I couldn’t figure out how to do some things with the formatting and I needed fresh eyes and a healthy mind to help review this 400 page monster.

But we did it!!!

The book cover

Right now I am in the process of uploading the print version of this book to CreateSpace to get it published. Once that is finished I will work on formatting this sucker for ebook format.

To thank you for all of your help and support I want to give you the PDF copy of the book for free. It isn’t much, but I want to pay forward all of the kindness and support you have given me. Please feel free to pass it around to your friends – and if you know of any bloggers who would be interested in it, please send it to them as well.

You can download the book here. Just right-click and select “Save As” to download it to your computer. (This link has now been removed since it is now available in ebook format. You can purchase it here.)

If you don’t mind, would you mind leaving an honest review about the book somewhere when it is published? Reviews are like gold to authors cause they are what help us get noticed. Heck, just telling your friends about us helps more than you can imagine!

Anyway, I won’t keep this PDF file up forever; I plan to remove it once I get the book published in ebook format at the very least, so grab it while you can and share the love.

Oh – I will let you know when the book goes live.

Thank you. Thank you for everything!

Love, Annie

Remember this as you pursue a simpler life

Published / by Annie

This was originally posted on my blog back in May of 2010. The image is a new addition.

While you are pursuing simplicity there is one thing you must never lose sight of.

This one thing is simple yet complicated at the same time.  I can’t take credit for it however, Shakespeare said it best:

“This above all, to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.”

Don’t follow my idea of simplicity.  Don’t follow your mother’s or the dude’s down the street.

Follow your own.

Mental Peace

Published / by Annie / 2 Comments on Mental Peace

This post was originally published September 26, 2009.

~~~###~~~

In our pursuit of simplicity, we will meet a lot of people who live and think a lot different than we do. These people may even try to convince us that we are wrong in wanting to pursue a simpler more peaceful existence. We may watch others doing this or that and think how silly they are to be doing this, while they are looking at us with the same disdain.

That is not peace. Nor is it simplicity. When we worry about what others do or think, we rob ourselves of energy better spent on making our own lives as peaceful as possible. We waste time better spent on us by worrying about what these folks are doing and saying.

Let’s be frank here: Who cares what they think or do? Honestly, in a hundred years, who’s gonna care what these people have done? In a hundred years, who’s going to care what YOU have done?

Since in the end it really doesn’t matter what you or anyone else does, why waste your time on it? Why not instead focus on having the most peaceful existence that YOU can have?

Plowhorses are frequently fitted with blinkers to keep their focus on the row ahead. This helps the farmer to keep the rows straight as he plows. The farmer has to do his part as well, for if he is distracted he may guide the animal in an unwanted direction. He has to pay attention to where he wants to go.

We are like that. If we are worried about what the field near us looks like, we won’t be paying enough attention to our own field, and thus our rows will be crooked.

This is true for any pursuit, but the pursuit of simplicity, frugality and minimalism concentration is very important. We tend to lose track when barraged by those who don’t understand, who don’t share the same goals as we do.

Instead of worrying about them we need to spend that time focusing on ourselves, focusing on what we want to accomplish.

The less we worry about what others want and are doing, the more peace we will have in our lives.