Fighting the Good Fight

Life, no matter how you arrange it, is far from perfect. We all have things that we need to deal with. In my personal journey, I am dealing with a brain disease as a result of an injury I suffered some time ago.

I have a choice: I can sit on my ass, whining and crying, or I can plow forward and keep fighting. On the days that I glitch, when I transpose numbers at work , my hand refuses to work, I stumble over thin air, or the words that come out of my mouth sound like gibberish and the pain makes it hard to think it is easy to sit down and give up. I am terrified that my boss will figure out that something is wrong with me and fire me as a result.

But you know what I do? I keep trying. Every day I use the tricks that I’ve invented to keep moving forward. I get friends and family help me to remember things. I use notes and Outlook to keep track of stuff I’ve done and stuff I need to do. When my hand doesn’t work right, I switch to doing things one-handed until the glitch irons out. When my words turn into gibberish I play it off as I’m just dingy.

And when I hurt, I take whatever is available to dull the worst of the pain and I keep moving forward.

It would be so easy to give up and to say that “I can’t.” But you know what? Can’t never could do anything. Can’t never managed to get a damn thing accomplished. The only true failure is to stop trying and it will be a cold day in hell before I do that. I am going to fight, and keep fighting until I either beat this shit or I am dead in my grave.

And I want you to learn from that.

I want you to understand that, no matter how bad things are, no matter how bad things get, that the only way out of them is to keep fighting. You may make a lot of mistakes. You may hit a lot of brick walls, but if you allow these things to defeat you then you will never be able to achieve your dreams.

So please, whatever you do, keep fighting. Don’t let the darkness win.

What challenges are you facing that make you want to give up? Please share your stories in the comments below.

10 thoughts on “Fighting the Good Fight

  1. Jana

    Wonderful!! It is so easy to get into a poor me always the Victim Mentality that you just give up and take the easy route! But what will be learned? I have been divorced for 3 years now, after being with him for 25 years. He ran off 5 years before that and I just wanted to give up, I still have a lot of issues and feel like an absolute failure! So much I of my life I have lived in an abusive relationship, my grandmother that raised me and I ran away from home and with this man, I really should ahve thought more about it and noticed this was not a real relationship though I tried very hard to make it. As I come upon the 3 year Divorce anniversary I am still battling hurt and anger would love to tell him off!!! But the resentment and anger is only hurting me and I am the one who has to let it go. And look forward to a new life and this time instead of having some one control me and tell me who and what I should be I can focus on me and live the life I want to live be who I want to be. Be the Change! LOL Thank you for sharing, mine is not even comparable, but sadly I have fallen into the OH POOR ME thinking

    1. Annie Post author

      Hello Jana,
      Hang in there! I left my ex husband 15 years or so ago and I still have a few issues from things that happened. Some people believe that I suffer from PTSD as a result but I just deal with it and move on. I can honestly say though that it DOES get better. It won’t be instant, but as long as you look back on what happened as a learning experience (albeit a painful one) and take precautions to avoid repeating the same mistakes, you will come out of this a stronger person.
      And no matter what, if you ever want to talk, feel free to email me at annie@annienygma.com or message me on Facebook. We survivors have to stick together.
      Hugs, Annie

  2. Linda Sand

    My main concern for you is that you will do so a good a job of faking it that you will be declared healed and lose whatever benefits might have helped you actually improve.

    1. Annie Post author

      Hi Linda!
      To be honest, I’ve already written off the past two years as a complete financial loss. While it has made me a stronger person, I seriously doubt that I will ever receive any compensation for what happened. I just want to move on the best I can and learn from the experience.

  3. Wygirl

    Annie, you are an inspiration. I am also dealing with brain problems, namely after chemo brain fog. It will never go away, but I also use some of the same tricks. It makes me more confident to be able to do things, just in a little different way. when one has challenges it helps with well being to accomplish, even if it is a different way.

    1. Annie Post author

      Hi Wygirl! Do you feel nervous when you glitch while out in public? I always have to fight off a freak out whenever my speech messes up or whatever, and I would love to hear how you deal with similar issues when they happen. Thank you!

  4. Belinda

    Thanks, Annie!

    I had a double knee replacement 2 and 1/2 weeks ago, and I am struggling to walk further and to get off the pain meds. Your strength and honesty has helped me to keep my spirits up on a difficult day.

    My prayers are with you.

    1. Annie Post author

      Thank you Belinda. Here’s hoping that you have a speedy recovery! Remember, pain is the body telling you that it needs to rest so take it easy, okay?

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