Microsoft Cortana is Evil

Last night I stayed up until two in the morning. I was wired for sound over some Family Business. Normally I don’t get upset over things that don’t directly concern me but I’m very protective of my blood family.

Even with the drama I wanted to wake up bright and early this morning to get some writing done before I had to go to work at my public job. Since I am really hard to wake up after late nights I set several 8am alarms on several devices in hopes that *one* of them would wake me up by 9am to get started.

One of those devices was my new (to me) computer, who has Microsoft Cortana. I told her to wake me up at 8am as an afterthought before I went to bed.

She woke me up all right! I fell off the couch, half peeing my pants and landed on the dog. I had NO IDEA what was going on! When I finally figured out that it was the computer I started screaming at it to shut up.

I had to crawl on my hands and knees over to the stupid machine to turn off the darned alarm. By that point I was WIDE AWAKE and cussing like a sailor.

Best. Alarm clock. Ever. Scared the living daylights out of me but by golly it woke me up.

Since I’ve finally calmed down enough to laugh over it I thought I would share.

Have a nice day!


  • EcoCatLady

    Hahahah! I had no idea Windows 10 had that feature. But since I turn my computer completely off when it’s not in use… and since I believe alarm clocks are the root of all evil in the first place, I don’t think I’ll be trying it out any time soon. Thanks for the warning though!

    • Annie

      Cortana apparently used the Alarms and Clock app to wake me up, which is built into Windows 10, I discovered later. If you have Cortana connected to the Internet, she will set the alarms automatically. While I generally keep the computer disconnected from the Internet now that I’ve got it set up, that little program is now my go-to alarm clock, for obvious reasons.