Tag Archives: self-evaluation

Who Do I Think I Am, Wanting to Get Rich?

Published / by Annie / 18 Comments on Who Do I Think I Am, Wanting to Get Rich?

The past few days have been filled with tormenting thoughts. Just who in the hell do I think I am, trying to get rich? Even though my goal is simply to become financially secure, to have enough money to be safe in the event I ever have to stop working again, the thought torments me just the same.

Think about it: I’m an uneducated, dirt-poor single mother probably suffering from Empty Nest Syndrome as I listen to my daughter discuss her plans to marry and move away. I bring home about $600 a month in a minimum wage job. Last month I received a whopping $84 in book royalties yet here I am, studying my ass off as I work to come up with a plan to spin that paltry amount into enough money to provide a living wage to prepare for a point in the future where I wouldn’t have to work.

I mean, I’ve ran the numbers. It would take $500,000 at 1.5% interest (my current savings account rate) to generate $7,500 a year annual income. That amount would bring in less than $600 a month income after taxes ($625/month pre-tax). I can’t even¬†conceive of having $500,000 in the bank, much less how to build up that type of money. There is no way on earth I can just stick that $84 a month into a savings account and build it to that amount in my lifetime, much less in a shorter amount of time.

If I took part of that $500,000 and invested in a cheap home for me, that would eliminate my rent expense, however. When the kid moves out I will have to pay the whole amount of $250 a month for rent. Using that as a base number (since the kid leaving is inevitable), if I continued to pay $250 a month to myself after I had a house that was paid for, the gap between where I am and what I want to do gets a bit easier to manage. If I reserved $100 a month of that amount for property taxes, repairs, and maintenance, I would then have another $150 a month to invest.

That would allow me to save a total of $234 a month towards my goal of being financially secure when combined with my monthly royalty payments, provided they stay steady.

But there’s a big whopping problem with that scenario: I’d have to find the money to buy a house in the first place. I don’t have a large amount in savings aside from the $1,000 pillow I keep in my checking account for emergencies. That is not near enough for what I would need to start that plan.

So who the hell do I think I am, getting the high-falutin’ notion of becoming rich? The odds against me are so astronomical I cried myself to sleep last night just thinking about it. It’s no wonder so many people in my situation don’t even try.

Okay, I’ve had my rant. It’s time to suck it up and move on. I don’t have to worry about the end point right now; all I have to do is focus on the Baby Steps. I can do this.

I hope.

 

Is Your Life in the Black?

Published / by Annie / 15 Comments on Is Your Life in the Black?

I ran into an old friend the other day. We hadn’t seen each other for several years so we took a few moments to catch up. My friend announced proudly that he had recently purchased a house, showed me his car, and bragged about his high-paying job. He was a little worried about making the new house payment but his wife had just started her own business selling cosmetics for a popular company. Could I attend her party in a couple of weeks?

I must confess that the conversation left me feeling somewhat small. While he regaled me with the size of his paycheck, the square footage of his new home, and other things, all I had to share was that I had written a few books, lived in a small rented home, and earned minimum wage at a grocery store. The little trips I take to help animals achieve a better life couldn’t hold a candle to his latest vacation overseas so I didn’t even bother to mention them.

I went to bed that night with a heavy heart. Over the past few months even my daughter had told me that she looked down on my simple life; while she was thankful that I had sacrificed higher paying jobs in order to spend more time with her as she grew up she bluntly announced that she might have been better off if I had ignored her wishes and spent more time making money. She would have had fancier things that way.

Was I really such a failure that my own child looked down her nose at my simple lifestyle? The look on my friend’s face when he discovered that I didn’t even own a car spoke volumes.

I’ve done a lot of soul searching since that fateful encounter. I’ve examined my life thoroughly as I asked myself did I make the right decisions? If not, should I start making changes? Should I apply for a job at a local factory where a friend of mine earns almost a thousand dollars a week with overtime? I wouldn’t have the time to write anymore but I would make a lot more money. I could buy a car, save up for a house, buy some nicer clothes….

I was still tormented by these thoughts when the first of the month rolled around. As I calculated my monthly budget and paid my bills I realized something: I could pay all of my bills before they came due. I didn’t have to struggle. I don’t toss and turn at night wondering where the money is going to come from to pay my electric bill. I don’t have to hide a car to avoid repossession until I could make the payment. I’m not driving around on expired tags because I can’t afford to put insurance on my vehicle as some of my friends are doing. I don’t cringe when the phone rings and I’m certainly not in danger of losing my home because I failed to pay the back taxes.

I’m operating in the black. Each and every year my writing business pays to support itself. It has done this from the beginning. For a few years there it also brought in enough money to support my simple lifestyle without the need for a public job. While it may not be able to support me currently it is still earning a small profit.

While far from rich I have enough in the bank to pay my bills without struggle every month. I can afford the things that I need without having to rob Peter to pay Paul. I’m able to splurge on some extras and save up for more expensive items. I even have a small savings account that I contribute to.

And unlike my friend who looked at me askance when he discovered what neighborhood I called home, it doesn’t take multiple jobs to support my lifestyle. I am able to live on minimum wage at my part-time job, which allows me time to pursue my passion of writing. I have even been able to take time off from working entirely over the years and savor the experience of being a stay-at-home single mom without having to sacrifice my morals to do so.

Even better, my simple lifestyle granted me the ability to recover from an injury that would have bankrupted many that I know. It enabled me to quickly regain my financial footing when I was able to start working again.

I may not have a fancy car or a luxurious house. I may not be able to take fancy trips or turn my friends green with envy but the truth is I have something far more valuable.

I have peace of mind. I can go to bed at night without worrying over unpaid bills. I can take time off work to help save the lives of unwanted animals. I have the time to make the world a better place by sharing my knowledge and experience with others.

I can afford to pursue my passions.

Do you live in the black? Please share your stories in the comments below.