Annie

Law of Attraction Strikes Again

Yesterday I took the dog for a walk to the Riverfront.

We had a wonderful time, and I planned to go to PetSmart and grab some things before heading home, but when we got back to the van, I noticed the back drivers side tire was very low.

Normally stuff like that would annoy me, but I had a feeling it was for the best, telling myself there is a reason that we are supposed to go straight home to air the tire.

On the way home, I decide to instead stop at a gas station and air up the low tire instead of going home and hunting for the air pump. There were two gas stations ahead.

I had never stopped at either station in the past, so I had no preference. Logic would have indicated I stop at the first station to air the tire as soon as possible, but for some reason I went on to the second station.

As I pulled in I saw the air pump. When I pulled in beside it, I realized something surprising, IT WAS ALREADY RUNNING. I hopped out and started airing the tire. Just as I finished, the pump clicked off.

I stared at the machine in astonishment. It was one of those pay machines, you put in 75 cents and get three minutes of air. Nothing special about it at all.

If one were to calculate the odds of happening upon a row of gas stations, picking just the right one that just happened to have just enough time left on the machine to air up a low tire, I do believe they would be quite astronomical. To answer the inevitably question: no I saw no one at the air machine before or as I pulled in.

There can be only one word for it: Attraction.

Somehow I attracted just the correct set of events to get the tire aired up as simply and quickly as possible.

There are times when I really want to write stuff like this off as coincidence, but frankly it happens too often for me to do so. I wish I knew how to calculate odds on what happened yesterday, I would love to know what the odds are against something like that happening.

I love this life. I don’t understand why so many want to leave it. There is an incredible power out there, just waiting for people to learn about and use, and most don’t know it exists.

Life has become an adventure again. Each day I can barely contain my excitement, wondering what new thing is going to happen.

I wish I could tell others about this, but I don’t think my family and friends would believe it.

I believe however, and that is all that matters.

My eyes!

Something amazing has come to my attention.

Since I was a child I have been neat-sighted. I have worn glasses full-time since I was 16.

That’s a long time.

Anyhow, I was lounging around reading when it dawned on me to try to read without my glasses. Considering that I am 20/200, most would think me insane.

But I could read. I could really read that book without my glasses. In fact, I am typing this here at the computer without my glasses even.

At first I was amazed, but in a way – I’m not. I’ve been thinking thoughts of health and youth, and now it is coming to me. I know in my heart that my eyes and physical condition are going to continue to improve.

Some think that this Secret is nonsense, but life just gets more and more amazing with each day. It feels strange to sit here without my glasses. I like it.

Public Transportation

Today my daughter and I decided to explore the public transportation available locally. Translation: We rode the bus to the Mall. I calculated the cost of the trip for myself and my daughter round-trip we would have used at least a gallon of gas in my van, not including wear and tear on the vehicle.

The round trip cost us three bucks at full-price.

At current gas prices, we basically broke even, adding wear and tear into the calculation. When you figure up the fact that I got to sit and relax instead of drive, we were a bit ahead of the game. Considering that I prefer riding to driving, it was soo nice to hop on the bus and let someone else navigate the traffic while I sat and enjoyed the scenery, chatting with my daughter.

At the Ky Oaks Mall we discovered that Borders Bookstore is now closing, but we got some great deals. Katie got a bug catching kit complete with an insect identification booklet, a small gel ink pen set, a novel about horses, and a ruler with horses on it. I got a dead-tree edition of “The Secret,” a street map of Paducah and an imitation thousand-dollar bill.

We looked around the stores, played in one of the photography booths, grabbed a Frappachino at Starbucks, then headed back to the bus stop. We arrived in perfect time, for moments after we arrived we saw the bus coming our way!

Tomorrow the van needs to go in for some work (the electric window decided to stop working), so when we take the van in we plan to hitch a ride downtown and hop on the trolley to explore the library and riverfront some more.

I am looking forward to the opportunity to explore without having to worry about traffic! Got a book of bus tickets, 10 tickets for six dollars, and figure we’ll just have fun enjoying the fact that we now live in a place that actually has public transportation!

While I have read a copy of “The Secret” in the past, I have wanted to add a copy to my book collection and cuddle up and read it again. That book has really made an incredible change to our lives!

The Law of Attraction is just wonderful!

The hundred-dollar bill that I posted on my vision board has finally come to fruition. We will be getting a check from Social Security for a little over a hundred dollars a month for my daughter now.

Actually two things have come to pass. No longer will I be accused of not reporting income that I really didn’t receive (my ex-husband apparently told the Social Security Admin. that she was living with him and it started showing up on my income), but thanks to the nice people at the Administration, my ex-husband will no longer be a threat to us.

He will be too busy dealing with the misappropriation charges against him for all the money they have given him for our daughter, especially since the whole time he was filing court papers against me saying that he never saw her…

Plus they are going to make sure that our other daughter is getting full use of her check. I have heard that she is going around having to struggle to get things she needs, so they are going to make sure that she is getting what she is due.

Considering the amount of money I gather he received for Katie alone, I have been told that he may be facing jail time, especially since they have proof in all of his affadavits that he wasn’t seeing our youngest daughter.

For those of you who are wondering, and thinking I’m an evil person for keeping myself and my daughter away from him – I don’t dare go around my ex. He promised that the only way I would get away from him is if “one of us died,” and while I was in that area – well, it was in my best interests to leave if I enjoyed breathing.

Whenever he finds my location and/or phone number, things start happening. It starts with phone calls, breathing, random hangups, death threats – then strange things start happening around my home.

I stay as far away from that man as a result now. Judge me how you will. I won’t even go to that little section of the state in fear of what he would do if he saw me there…

I have told the SSA that I do not want him to have a clue as to where we live for safety reasons, and they have promised to keep my information confidential. Either way, they don’t have my street address, just a post office box. I’m not taking any chances.

But the Law of Attraction is working things out. Soon all the evil he has dealt to others will come back to him. I don’t wish him ill, I just wish him out of my existence. It is happening.

The delay is the hardest part of the Law of Attraction to deal with. If you are like me, you want what you want NOW, not some time in the future. But honestly, if I got everything I wished for instantly, I wouldn’t enjoy life very much. Part of the enjoyment is in the anticipation.

Right now I am working on attracting the means to place my daughter in a much better school. I want her to be safe, and have great experiences and get an excellent education. I want her to be happy, and learn about life on the right side of the tracks. I come from the wrong side of them, and want her to have — well, I want her to comfortably see how the ‘other half’ lives so that she can have a choice in how she lives her life.

I want her safe and protected, with no chance that anyone can kidnap her to get back at me. That is what I want to attract for her. The best life I can give her.

Getting used to the new look

The initial newness is wearing off on my head.

I have received lots of comments. One woman I encountered showed me her bald head, kept hidden under a hat. Cancer, she told me.

Part of me wonders if I should keep it shorn, at least for a while. I’m curious to see if perhaps there are others who are afraid of displaying their bald heads in public.

Most don’t even look twice at me. Guess I don’t look that bad. Wish I had some honest opinions, but right now I don’t.

Love Shave for my cousin

Hello all!

Here are the pictures of the love shave I promised my Cousin Dani. She had to have her head shaved for an operation to relieve pressure on her brain so I promised to go through baldness with her.

So far I have gotten a combination of shock, support, and a lot of “are you crazy” comments. Such is life. If this makes my cousin laugh and lets her know that she is loved, it is worth it. Every bit of it.

Already the hair is starting to grow back, so it itches a bit. Yesterday I was outside all day and so wore a bandanna to keep from getting sunburn on my newly-shaved head. I had to take it off for a moment, and ended up shocking a couple of people LOL!

Gotta love being different!

The first few pictures are after I let my daughter scissor the length of my hair off, and the rest are after it was shaved. I’m posting a before photo as well.

Looking to the future

Last night as I showered I looked long and hard at the hair which will soon be gone.

Part of me is nervous at the upcoming drastic change, while part of me is excited that I get to do something so exciting and new!

It has been a looong time since I drastically did anything to my appearance, so this will be very refreshing!

I wish my cousin didn’t have to go through it — but I am looking forward to showing her my solidarity.

She is back out of the hospital, hopefully permanently this time.

So far no more headaches since the surgeons gave her the shunt.

All is well.

Daily Update

My cousin ended up having to go to the emergency room yesterday and had to stay overnight at the hospital because of swelling.

They are releasing her today, and said that it does not appear to be a rejection of the shunt. She is still pretty swelled, but apparently in no danger right now. The doctor is more concerned with her picking up an infection if she stays in the hospital much longer….

I am glad she is doing better, but I’m still worried about her. Think I will stay close to the computer to wait for the updates.

My phone company sent me a late notice over the weekend, but for some reason I did not get a bill. Got it all straightened out, however. They figure it is a glitch in the system since they cannot even pull up a bill!

There is word from my old job that they will be hiring 200 more people, so I made sure my hat was in the ring. I miss my old job. May have to take night shift, but such is life!

Since the rain has finally passed, we turned off the air conditioners and went back to using fans to ventilate this place. Katie is happy cause it means that she can now go in and out at will again!

Updated my mailing address on my credit cards and stuff… got that all taken care of. It is a relief to know that is done. Have yet to locate the jump drive containing my checkbook records however. I know it is here, so I’m not too concerned – just starting to get a tad aggravated. Dislike not knowing where everything is! May have to toss some more things to make the feeling abate some! Well off to work on my day!

Daily Mumblings

I spent a portion of last night relaxing and listening to music, and woke up to an email that my old company is hiring more people.

So I have reapplied.

I enjoyed that position.

Also fixed homemade biscuits and gravy for breakfast, watched my daughter play with her beads (she actually made a skirt from beading today), worked a tad on the house and enjoyed life.

I am working on another painting. When it is finished I will post a photo here…

Peace to all,
Annie

Instinctive Fury

Someone posted something as a comment to my cousin’s post-surgery photos.

“Sorry to see these photos. Won’t show Ms. X. Hope the reaction is better.” (Paraphrased and names changed).

My blood boiled.

I have calmed a bit since that first gut reaction.

Like my cousin is so ugly people wouldn’t want to see her…

Grrr.

I love my baby cousin. I admire her guts in fighting this. I don’t appreciate anyone giving a HINT of not supporting her, especially when she is so self-conscious after surgery.

Anyhow, that’s my rant. I’m still furious, but I held my tongue for Dani’s sake. \l

My cousin looks like a borg…

…now that she has had her surgery. I wish I could post photos but she is a bit embarrassed at her appearance.

They shaved the whole entire side of her head and there is a tube running from the top of her skull behind her ear, down her neck, across her chest and into her abdominal cavity where the excess fluid will drain away. The tube is just under the skin so it is really obvious especially after the surgery. Behind her ear is this circle where a doctor will place a magnetic device that he will use to dial up or down how much pressure is needed to trigger the shunt, and should the issue be resolved, will be used to turn the shunt off.

Already she has had the rest of her long hair trimmed down to about an inch in length, and plans to shave it down to match the rest of her head when the swelling goes down.

This is my baby cousin, guys. She is as close to a blood sister as I really have, her and her siblings. Even though she was always taller than me and bigger than me I was the elder one. I always tried to look out for them when I would go spend summers at her house growing up.

Here in a few days I’m getting my head buzzed out of love and respect for what she is having to go through. If people don’t like it, tough! She is half a country away so I can’t be there physically, but at least I can be there spiritually.

I’m going to try to find some bandannas that represent me to wear during the interim while my scalp adjusts to the extra sunlight. Any ideas? One friend says biker bandannas would reflect my attitude best, and another says Native American ones. I dunno.

I love The Secret, and perhaps that is why I feel kinda strange here lately. I have my younger adopted sister who walks with a cane, my cousin who just had this surgery to have this tube implanted into her skull I gather permanently, and various friends who are diabetic and have a slew of illnesses.

You know what I have? A hormonal imbalance (controlled by birth control pills) and an annoying reaction to milk.

That’s it. Despite all the things that have happened in the past, I’m in the best health of my life at age 39, and here are all my friends and family so ill around me.

I love my health, I love this ability. Still at times I feel guilty because it’s like I’m some sort of superhero who is trying to learn and master their power and who feels great and wonderful yet those around her are ill and you know there’s a solution but you can’t force them to take it, cause no one is ready for it.

When I buzz my head I’ll post pictures here so all of you can have a good laugh. If Dani gets a good laugh out of it then it is worth it!

Sigh. I cried when I saw those pictures of my cousin. I worry about her so! She has already battled cancer and won, and now has to deal with this! As a result, she has left medical school after all of her hard work to excel.

Regardless of what happens, I am SO proud of her! She is fighting. She hasn’t given up. Even posting the pictures she talks about how “cool” it was that the doc would use this one device to control her shunt, and she wouldn’t have to have another surgery as a result.

Cuz, you are one brave chick, and I love you!

The “Secret,” – The Law of Attraction – it works!

I attracted a lawnmower today.

Manifested it with a simple thought.

I was tired of looking at the lawn getting taller and taller, so instead of begging my daughter to do it like she is supposed to I grabbed the reel mower and went to do it myself..

As I started pushing, the thought occurred to me of how nice it would be to just use a gasoline mower to get it over with…..

And a lady walks up. Out of the blue, she insists that I use her gasoline mower to mow my lawn.

Not realizing the significance I hesitate, saying I don’t have any gasoline right now and she says “so what? I have plenty! Come get this mower!”

Then it hit me. The law of Attraction. I had attracted that mower to me with that brief thought. Without another protest, I borrowed her mower and thanked her profusely. I plan to fill my little gasoline can in gratitude for their generosity.

So far I have used the Law of Attraction to manifest some clothes and shoes for my daughter, some help moving to my previous place, some extra money, a job I could work at home, this mobile home we purchased, and now the use of a gasoline mower.

I think I manifested something else, but didn’t recognize it when I saw it, so the opportunity passed. It was just too much at once!

I think I’m starting to get the hang of this! p

The Living Room

I have finally gotten unpacked enough to show the world my living room at least. I love the simplicity of the space!

You can tell the wallpaper in the kitchen needs replacing, it looks horrible, but for the price I paid for this place, I am definitely not complaining!

The goldfishies are by the front door, so unless you are first coming into the home, you won’t really see them. The bookshelf is by the little bar area, but I don’t have any stools yet. Over on the right is an old coffee table from my childhood – not sure where to put it, cause it didn’t look right by the seats, and I really don’t want to store it…

I’ll post some more pictures of my home as I take them…

Have a nice day!

Going bald for a cause

My cousin has to have a shunt put in her head for high intracranial pressure.

She’s worried about having a shaved head as a result.

This is a cousin whom I spent many a lazy summer vacation with, playing dress up, roaming the hills, watching the tube with.

I’m shaving my head in solidarity with her.

I know it sounds kinda crazy, but I will donate my mop to Locks of Love, and post a few pics of it. What’s a shaved head among friends, right?

Before anyone asks, it was my suggestion, and my decision.

My other cousin, her sister, is thinking of doing it as well.

Hair is just hair to me, but she is my cousin, whom I love very much.

I have about a week/ week and a half before her surgery. She has a couple of pre-op appointments to go to first.

Place her in your prayers, my friends. Please. semi

I Hate the Housing Projects

Some people must truly be miserable. Truly miserable.

Those people are the ones who cannot be happy for a person’s accomplishments, but have to find fifty reasons why they made the wrong decision.

I detest people like that.

I know some. Couple of them actually.

Okay, I am not rich. After an illness forced me into the projects about 4 years ago, I promised one day I would escape. And I did. Now I have managed to buy a mobile home. I own it, free and clear.

I am delighted.

What do I hear from these people? I hear how much “better off” I was when I lived in the damn projects, how much “better” the schools were in the hellhole I left, and how I’m going to “regret” this decision…

I wanted to call these people some serious names. I really did.

I am proud of where I am today. Damned proud!

So I don’t waste my money on stupid crap like televisions and video games. So I don’t see the pleasure in owning a bunch of trash that you have to make paths to wade through.

So frickin’ what!

Whatthehell, so I gotta be like them in order to be happy? Live like a rat in a cage kissing the asses of the government, worried that I will get evicted if a friend lets an animal set foot on my front porch?

Worried about who visits me and when, or did I remember to report that twenty bucks I made the other day, and OMG don’t open the damned door for the sunlight, cause the freaks will just barge in without knocking!

Can’t own a pet without selling your soul, and if that pet gets too big to meet their precious regulations too bad – get rid of it or be evicted…

I hate the projects.

True, it has it’s place. Its place is for people who can’t afford a place of their own, who are physically incapable of taking care of themselves, whose only income is a couple hundred dollars in child support or a disability check, or the retired ones who know they have no where else safe to go….

The projects are great for that. But for the free-spirited soul, who loves to go where she wants to go and do what she wants to do — hell no!

Do you know that they can force you to rearrange your house if they don’t like how you fix it?

And these morons think they are better than me with their multiple car payments and mortgage that will outlast how long they will be alive – they think I’m stupid for wanting the freedom of my own place.

Fuck them.

Fuck them all.

Still Moving In

Katie and I are still in the process of moving in. The heat has slowed the process down to a crawl but we are still making progress, however.

The washer, dryer and refrigerator are here, as well as several loads of other things. I want to get the last two computers, the kitchen table, and some groceries today. Some friends have been helping some, which is wonderful!

My daughter is exhausted. I have tried several times in the past hour and a half to wake her up, but she is still snoring. Guess she needs her sleep. I cannot complain, she has worked really hard to help these past few days. The internet is still pending install. I have located an unsecured wifi network with enough signal to use the phone, check my emails, and blog a bit. Will post some more pictures when I get a chance.

Katie’s new futon

Here are some pictures of Katie’s new futon when she has it arranged in a chair. It gives her SO much more space than a traditional bed! I understand more and more why the Japanese are so fond of this method of sleeping! It just makes economical sense to allow one space to have multiple uses, rather than housing a single HUGE piece of furniture only used 1/3 of the time!

My friends are all trying to show me various beds and things that we may “want to consider” after recovering from the move. They just cannot comprehend that we are choosing this of our own free will in a desire to have more space, and to stop wasting space for something we use only part of the time. They don’t understand that we are tired of lugging all of this junk around, and are looking for a more minimalistic lifestyle, and are willingly taking a page from the Japanese. We have no idea how far we will go, but we will definitely enjoy the journey!

Thoughts and Memories

As the mountain of boxes grows higher in the staging area, Katie and I both are considering the merits of Greg Johnson’s life diet.

Perhaps we should start putting OUR life on a diet. A serious diet.

Greg started by putting almost everything in storage, then getting things out as he needed. The things he ended up not needing, he eliminated from his life.

We will have a little storage shed on the property. I have lots of shelving. Perhaps we could try that? Load most of it into the storage building then sort it out and put it away from there! It would definitely be a good way to start thinning out!

I gave the queen-sized comforter and sheets away that went with the queen-sized bed I used to possess. No point in keeping them, especially considering that they were too big for anything we plan to possess in the future, and definitely not our style (they came with the bed).

I did keep the black sheet set. It is large, but will work on the full-sized futon I am currently using.

I dream of a home with no clutter, with few possessions cluttering up our life. My nightmares are filled with images of the home I escaped, with my ex and his “collections” covered in a blanket of dust everywhere one turned, pieces of miscellaneous trash lying around and I was forbidden to “touch” his stuff cause it was so “valuable” – never again will I be controlled by stuff. Never again.

Packing for the big move

Friday we paid the deposits for the utilities. Saturday we gathered some boxes from local merchants and began packing.

I am amazed at the bulk of stuff two people can possess. It is just amazing to look at, especially with the knowledge that we possessed SO MUCH more before we started downsizing a few years ago.

Katie now has a futon for her room, just an inexpensive foam one for present. She is delighted at the fact that she no longer has to deal with her oversized bed. I am delighted at the fact she will no longer be able to hide masses of trash and clutter under her bed!

Right now she is kinda using it like a chaise-lounge. I am debating on the purchase of a futon chair frame from ikea for her. It may be better to teach her how to put it away and get her a beanbag chair or a papasan chair for use while she plays.

We decided to eliminate the dresser from our lives as well. Katie has a dresser built into her bedroom and I haven’t owned a dresser in years and honestly don’t want the burden of one now. The bed and the dresser are awaiting pickup hopefully today.

I have figured out a way to create a custom futon shiki-futon (futon mattress) that would actually be washable compared to the ones that you can purchase. Purchase or make a futon cover in the size you desire (mine will be twin since I’m single), then purchase a couple of those washable mattress pads or pillowtops. Layer those pads one on top of the other, and insert in the futon cover and voila! A washable futon. You can increase or decrease the thickness depending upon your comfort and preference by adding or removing layers inside the futon cover. When you wish to wash your futon, simply take the whole thing apart and toss in the washer! May take a few loads, but that is a world better than those futons that you cannot wash, especially for those of us who are clean freaks or have allergies!.

We are really hoping that the couch and loveseat are sold, for after we get situated we will purchase a futon frame for the futon mattress I am sleeping on now to use as a couch/sleeper in the living room, then I will make a smaller futon for my room. The smaller size will be easier to put away during the day, and it will be wonderful to be able to wash it at will or adjust the thickness! This current futon mattress is solid cotton, and about eight years old but in excellent shape. Plan to get a cover for it and add some thickness with mattress pads when we get time.

Last night I dreamed of our new home. It wasn’t fully decorated, but a lot had been done. The walls were an eggshell white, and all the trim was done in black, with a few oriental pieces on the walls. There was an oriental-themed wallpaper in a couple of spots for accent, and our furniture was set up just so. It looked so peaceful!

Once I get in I will post pictures of how it looks now, and pictures of progress as we decorate. This is getting done on a shoestring so it may take a while!

Well, we still have lots more to pack, so time to get back to work!

Feeling better

After spending the last few days in pain from allergies, I buttoned up the house and turned on the air conditioner. As a result I feel better than I have in weeks! Unfortunately, my wallet won’t be as happy, but sucking down decongestants and eating pain pills is getting nothing accomplished!

Sold another piece of furniture today, will turn it over when we move out…

Other than that, I cranked out a few articles for Associated Content (none I was patient enough to wait for upfront payment), and enjoyed feeling better.

Hope everyone is having a great week!