We have to sift through a lot of sand to find the gold within the stream. Sometimes we think we find it, only to analyze and discover it is not the real thing.
What do we do at that point? Do we accept what is in our possession, or do we keep searching for the real thing? Do we settle for less than we know we desire and deserve?
Several times in my life I have thought I struck gold. The test of time proved them all to be false. Crying many tears, I thought I could accept the hand I had been dealt, but in the end I have always folded, moving on to the next game, the next pail of sand.
I know in my heart that I deserve gold – not pyrite. I deserve to be treated with love and respect – not bullied or abused or placed on a shelf until convenient. I just have to keep sifting the sands of life and one day I will find my piece of gold.
It is lonely standing there sifting the sands in the stream. Sometimes I tell myself I should just accept the pyrite and move on, or chalk up the whole experience as a loss and finish my life alone, but I will not give up. I will not surrender. I know that somewhere there is a piece of gold waiting in that stream for me.
I just have to keep sifting….