Sam Hagin pointed out that we “all live for someone” on my last post.
You are exactly correct, Sam. We all live for someone. We might live for family, we may live for friends, or we may live for a purpose we’ve set for ourselves.
Or we may just live for ourselves.
It doesn’t really matter in the end who or what you live for. What matters is that you arrange your life to give this area the priority it deserves.
When I began this journey, my children were a priority to me. I wanted to be the best mother I could be to them. I didn’t want my children to be raised by strangers. I had given birth to them, so I wanted to be the one to raise them.
That was my priority.
I had a second priority, however–that of my moral code. The thought of engaging in a relationship knowing, in the back of my mind, that I would be using that person (and essentially prostituting myself), bothered me significantly.
So I asked myself: how could I focus on my priority of living for my children, of being there for them without having to sacrifice my moral code?
By focusing on my priorities, bit by bit I arranged my life, placing my children at the top of my focus.
When employers asked me to choose between my job and staying home with an ill child, I picked my kid. I deliberately picked low-wage positions so that it would be easy to locate another position when faced with that choice. When some of these employers realized that I wouldn’t hesitate to walk away, they began to offer options. The options weren’t perfect, but they allowed me to focus on my primary goal–that of caring for my children.
I only have one life. I only had one chance at being a good mother for my children. Rather than live my life in regret, I chose to live my life by focusing on what was truly important to me.
We can all give excuses but in the end, when you face the darkness of that great night, do you want to go there with regret, or do you want to go there knowing that you did your best to care for what is important to you?
The choice is yours.
Annie, I think being the best mom you can be is the best way to raise a family. It is truly an investment in the future and a gift to society. Now that Katy is an adult, what next for you?
I honestly don’t know, Essie. All that I do know is that I first want to focus upon myself for a bit and then figure out a way to help others…to leave this world a bit better than it was when I entered it. I suspect that I’ll write things that may help people (I hope they help, at any rate), but other than that I don’t know.
Society tends to tell us that once the kids are raised, the grandkids have gone that it’s time for us to wait to die. I don’t intend to do that. Maybe that’s a clue.
Are you still taking college classes?
Yes I am, Sam.