Katie – Annienygma

Keeping Busy

It’s been a chaotic week. I’ve been focused on gratitude, so it ended up being a magical week with some fascinating things taking place.

Just as Katie and I were finishing a cup of coffee before we began the process of transferring her car into her name, Katie received a panicked call from her husband. The shippers had decided to change the pickup date for her car to that day and wanted to pick it up immediately.

Katie told her husband to cancel the shipment. It would leave them several days without a car, and she wasn’t having it.

“I’ll have it shipped after we get moved,” she told her husband. “Mom can use it in the meantime.”

To say I was startled would be an understatement! I’d been walking and hitching rides to work since her husband had arrived. While I’d looked at a few cars locally (and discussed acquiring an unused car (translation: it’s been parked for a while) from a family member) nothing had clicked, so I had spent these past few weeks telling myself that the perfect vehicle would come to me in the perfect way. Could this be it? I wondered silently.

This was how I ended up taking my daughter and son-in-law to the airport a few nights later. I was to have full use of the car until she got things sorted on her end for a return trip to retrieve it.

She texted me her first full day in California:

<Hey, mom. Would you like to buy the Green Bean? I’ll sell it to you for what I have in it.>

She took the money I transferred to her and bought an SUV that very same day.

I honestly believe that I attracted the situation. I like the car; it’s the only station wagon like it in the area. An older classic, it suits me perfectly well, and I enjoy the process of fixing up older cars. Even better, we both benefited from the situation. She got what she put into the car back and I acquired the transportation I desired for my personal game plan.

While I was sad to see my beloved Katie go, I decided to focus upon the empty bedroom she left behind. When I would arrive home after work, instead of dwelling upon her absence I painted.

Here is a short video of the progress I’ve made thus far:

I have to work in the morning so after tidying my house and doing laundry I kicked back with a book to enjoy the rest of my day. I’ll tinker on the room some more tomorrow.

Since I am starting a new era in my life I am considering making a change to how I blog as well. Instead of just writing, I’m thinking about posting some videos as well. What do you think? Would you like to watch me ramble on occasion?

~#~

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I’ve written a lot of books sharing my odd view of life in hopes of helping others. My most notorious book is titled The Shoestring Girl: How I Live on Practically Nothing and You Can Too, but The Minimalist Cleaning Method is pretty popular as well. You can find them at the following places:

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The End of an Era

Katie moved out yesterday.

I knew it was coming. We both did.

This is why I dropped offline for a few months. I wanted to spend every last moment with my baby. This was my last chance to make memories with her, memories of her being my baby girl instead of my married daughter.

I did just that.

We’ve been joined at the hip these past few months, my Katie and I. We did everything together. We even got a job together, on the exact same shift, so we could pick on each other as we passed the other’s station.

I have no regrets for taking these last few months and devoting them exclusively to my daughter. I have no regrets about dropping offline and focusing upon my life here in the world. I have had one goal these past years, and that goal was to be the best mother I could be.

I did everything in my power to make that goal a reality. And, if the last conversations I had with my daughter are any clue, I succeeded. I believe I even imparted the importance of being a loving parent, a parent who chooses family over the pursuit of money or other goals to my daughter, since she shared with me her personal thoughts and concerns about raising her children in the future.

But now that time is over. My Katie is grown. She moved out, and is on her way to starting her new life as a married woman.

Society doesn’t guide us when it comes to life after parenthood. It seems that we’re to grow up, get a job, find the spouse, raise the kids, then fade into the sunset, visited only on holidays or whatever the kids find convenient. We are to wait until we qualify to enter a nursing home, go there, and wait to die.

I say fuck that shit.

It’s time for me to start a new adventure.

I don’t know what I’ll end up doing, but if you think I’m going to allow myself to wallow in loss and self-pity you are wrong. The best cure for sadness is action, so I intend to keep busy until the shock wears off. Somewhere in the busyness I’ll figure out what to do next.

My very first step is reclaiming the bedroom. I’ve not had a bedroom in a decade now; while I hadn’t planned to stay in this tiny house for quite this long, I did, so now, for the first time in a long time, I’ve gotten an empty room in which I can dedicate to sleeping.

I didn’t allow myself to dwell upon the shock of seeing that empty room, of seeing the little things my baby decided to leave behind. Instead, I started cleaning. I gave that room a good scrubbing, called a friend, and asked for a ride to the store. Since fresh starts and new adventures don’t happen every day, I didn’t even look at the prices as I purchased the supplies to paint that little bedroom. I even treated myself to a new lava lamp in my favorite color (red) for when I’m ready to move in.

I stayed up incredibly late patching the damage that only a kid can do as I laughed. I’d not realized one child could create so much work, but she has lived in that room for a decade now. To my surprise, I found spots on the walls from before we moved in. I hadn’t paid attention when I rented the place. That room was to be my Katie’s room so I’d barely glanced at it, and I’ve barely stepped foot in there until now.

It’s faded, but a previous tenant logged the date on the wall back in 2009!

Today I intend to sand the spots and start painting. I picked white, plain white for the walls and ceiling in order to give myself a blank slate with which to work. I don’t know who I will become on this next adventure so that seemed the safest choice. I did select a different color to paint the floor, a dark barn red that will cover the paint splatters and abuse that poor floor has suffered from well before I ever thought of living here. I had to choose between white, gray, or the red; red seems to suit my mood the best at the moment.

We each of us live through different eras as we journey through our lives. We’re a child, a student, a youth, a spouse (sometimes), a parent, and then…

…and then the door is wide open to create a new era, and era that can be anything we choose it to be.

Once I finish this post I intend to eat breakfast and get back to work. This is my day off, so I want to get as much done as I can today.

I’ll write more later.

~#~

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Katie the Coupon Queen

My Katie and I have been discussing my muses of late, particularly my personal opinion that I wanted to encourage people to find ways to give the corporations less money. I thought my words had fallen upon deaf ears but then something interesting happened.

For a couple of weeks I heard Katie watching episodes of some show about extreme couponing. I was amused at the fact that my daughter, of all people, suddenly seemed interested in people clipping coupons and saving money, but I let it go, reasoning that she was probably trying to understand some of her mother’s eccentricities.

When she came home the other day with a bunch of coupons, I started to grow concerned. I’ve attempted couponing in the past and I had spent more money acquiring the coupons than I saved. I kept my thoughts to myself; there are things people should learn from experience.

Sensing my skepticism, Katie collected her coupons and dragged me to the store with her yesterday. Her plan was to stock us up on things we actually use while spending as little as possible.

I thought she was on a fool’s errand as I tagged along.

To my absolute shock, my daughter managed to shave 1/3 off of her total bill with that stack of coupons – and that was at the store on the corner! That particular store is known for its higher prices; we both try to avoid it whenever possible for that reason.

Now, for the first time in years, my daughter and I are having conversations about homemade laundry detergent, expiration dates, and reasonable stockpile levels. She has no desire to buy things that will go bad before they are used.

Her argument is this: at the moment, it is hard to purchase certain things without giving your money to the corporations that are running our government, so why not use coupons, specials, and selective stockpiling to give them as little as possible?

I must admit that she has a point.

Have you ever had luck with couponing? If so, do you have any tips that you can share? Please share your stories in the comments below.

~#~

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The Television Adventure

When I eliminated my television back in 2009, I had no intention of acquiring another. I was perfectly content using my computer to stream videos or watch DVDs, so I thought I would have no reason to bother.

Katie disagreed. As everyone knows, my beloved daughter is not a minimalist. She works hard and shops with the same enthusiasm. I do not judge my daughter for this; she has the right to earn and spend her money as she pleases.

So when Katie came home one afternoon with a television in her arms, I shrugged and went on with my life. She wanted to watch movies and play games in her room and had decided to do just that.

I didn’t think about that television much. I watched it with her once a year, the day after Christmas, when we have a tradition of pigging out on clearance candy and watching Forrest Gump.

But then one evening after helping a friend move she came home with yet another television. Her friend had an extra that was larger than Katie’s and had gifted it to my daughter as a ‘thank you.’ Katie was delighted as she showed it to me; she could watch her videos on a larger screen thanks to the generosity of her friend.

My only question was what she intended to do with her old one.

Katie didn’t even give me the opportunity to ask that question. “As soon as I hook it up I’ll give my little one to you,” she announced. “It’s about time you joined the modern age and watched TV like normal folks!”

Oh geez.

That was how I found myself the proud owner of not only a small television but a Roku as well. She helped me hook it up and handed me the remotes with a smile.

I didn’t know how to work the remotes. The last television I owned didn’t have one. What the hell was I going to do with a television when I didn’t even know how to work it? I kept my thoughts to myself, thanked her profusely, and pretended to be happy with the gift.

That television sat in my room for a good six months untouched. I didn’t know how to work it, wasn’t motivated to try, yet I couldn’t bring myself to part with it because my daughter had loved me enough to give it to me. Eventually I realized that the situation was bordering on the ridiculous so I sat my butt down and figured it out.

Televisions have changed immensely since I last bothered with one many years ago. They do things now that I find amazing. I started out watching YouTube videos on the thing and eventually added one of those gadgets that play ancient video games and in time complemented it with a cheap DVD player.

It would save wear and tear on my computers, I reasoned.

As I developed the habit of watching a movie before bed, I realized that I could reduce my reliance on Facebook and the Internet if I had a way to capture the open air broadcasts from local news stations. I like to keep up with local news but I have a weakness for reading the comments. There was a problem with this, however. In order to capture the signals I needed to purchase another device and I was too cheap to spend the money.

That changed last night. While I was out to purchase some groceries, I stumbled upon a little antenna for $5. After asking the workers a few questions, I decided to give it a try.

It took several attempts but I managed to stick it to a window to gain reception. I fiddled with the remote, pressing random buttons until I finally found the proper menu and I managed to pick up a few channels.

For the first time in over a decade I watched the eleven o’clock news without losing myself in the comments section.

I feel as if I have stepped into an alternate reality. I can press a button and watch the news when it comes on instead of waiting for the highlights to go online. I don’t have to worry about my Internet going out when bad weather arrives. That’s an issue in my tiny area.

Part of me feels guilty for buying another gadget. Part of me feels odd because I am no longer part of the Minimalist Crowd that looks at televisions with disdain. But if I am going to allow others to live life on their terms, then that gives me the right to live on mine. The television was free, the antenna was $5, and now I can rest easy during storms. I can also use the device to play music when I slip a CD or MP3 DVD into the player I acquired, which means that I can shut my computer off entirely sometimes. I can even play games from my childhood, which I have discovered is a wonderful way to clear my head.

This little adventure has made me realize that change can be a very positive thing. It has made me realize that I need to abandon my comfort zone more often. It has also made me realize that if I embrace the older technology that I abandoned in the past that I can reduce my reliance upon the Internet. The world will not end if Annie cannot connect. To be honest, if I could teach myself to check email, respond to comments, and go offline after I upload my daily blog post, I would probably be better off.

I would definitely have more time.

If you happen to have a television (or manage to acquire one for cheap or free), you may want to consider buying one of those little devices that allow you to pick up stations for free. You would not only eliminate your cable expense, you may be able to drop some of those online movie subscriptions you pay for. They have a range of them, designed to pick up channels of varying distances from your home, so take care not to purchase until you find one that is powerful enough for your needs. The $5 one I purchased covers a 25-mile radius – just enough to watch the news, which is all I wanted. This is what the box looked like:

And always remember – minimalism is about living life on your terms, not the terms that some “expert” living out of a thousand-dollar laptop says you should live. You have the right to keep anything in your life that you find useful or gives you pleasure. If those experts want to judge, send them to me. I will be happy to show them what spot on my anatomy they can kiss.

So keep the old record player if you use it. Watch your DVDs. Play your cassettes and your VHS tapes. Wear the clothes you have in your closet. It is far better for the world if we use the things we already have anyway.

~#~

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Operation: Katie

Yesterday morning I was awakened at 8am by the phone. Katie had finished the train part of her journey and wanted to call while she awaited her first bus.

She shared with me how she’d decided not to spend the money on a taxi in Chicago; she had gotten turned around and had to ask for help to reach the train station as a result.

Of all times for that child to develop my cheapskate tendencies, it just had to be while she was wandering around Chicago on a fractured leg!

Anxious about her arrival, I puttered around the house, keeping busy. I ordered Katie a pair of crutches (doctor’s orders), did laundry, cleaned on my house, and even made the stock purchase I’d planned to make this week.

I was so distracted at the thought of Katie coming home it barely registered. I didn’t realize until much later that I hadn’t even stopped to savor that tiny step taken towards my financial freedom.

My friend Kes came over in the afternoon and we spent an hour or so painting a large Welcome Home sign. Once that was completed, she went back to her house around the corner to finish preparing for the trip while I took a brief nap.

At 6pm Katie called from the bus station in Louisville, Ky. When I asked what time her bus left for Lexington she looked at her ticket and reported that the bus was scheduled to leave at 5:50pm.

I frowned, then realized that there was most likely a time zone difference between us. “Just in case, will you check and see with the clerk what time your bus leaves?” I requested.

Five minutes later she called me back. “I missed my bus,” she reported sadly. “It was pulling out just as my bus was arriving since mine was a bit late. Can you pick me up from here?”

My friend and I dropped everything and headed out.

We were 54 minutes away from the bus station when traffic on I64 came to a complete halt. An accident ahead of us had completely stopped traffic.

This mom transformed into a basket case after I called the bus station numerous times and could NOT get anyone there to pick up the phone so that I could get a message to her. I even tried to call the payphone back that she’d called me from with no success.

“My baby is alone in Louisville, stuck at a bus station with a broken leg!” I wailed numerous times. “She doesn’t have her phone, and I have no way of letting her know what’s going on! She’s scared, I know she’s scared. They may have closed the bus station for the night and kicked her out in the cold on the streets where there’s criminals and everything!”

I was more than a bit annoying during that hour or so we were stuck in traffic but my mother’s instincts were in full swing. I would have gotten out of that truck and started walking if I’d thought it would get me there any faster.

My friend’s old Ford was running on fumes by the time they cleared the traffic jam. We rushed to a gas station, topped it off (it only takes about $10 worth of gas at a time due to an issue with the fuel tank), and took off again.

We arrived at the bus station around 11:00 pm.

“Katie!” I raced into that bus station, holding the little sign I’d printed up as my friend waited in the truck. Considering the neighborhood she was afraid to leave it alone.

Katie stood up and began limping to meet me part-way. We fell into each other’s arms sobbing as I explained what had happened.

We had to do a round of “thank-yous” to the wonderful travelers who had kept my baby company while she had waited for me to arrive.

One gentleman in particular, a man who was traveling cross-country to see what he could do to help his own daughter out of a bit of trouble stands out in my mind. That poor man took time away from his own problems to comfort my Katie, enough so that she spoke with him for several moments in gratitude before we left.

I didn’t catch your name, but your face will be forever engraved in my mind. Thank you so much for looking out for my little girl.

We stopped for food and fuel at the Hurstbourne Parkway exit. We saw a Steak and Shake and pulled in.

Leo the waiter greeted us with open arms. He seated us, took our orders, and was incredibly nice and helpful.

Shortly after our food arrived I looked out the window to see patrons tugging at the door. It had been locked. Had we committed the Cardinal Sin of visiting a restaurant only minutes before close? I sweated.

I nervously stood up and approached Leo.

“Oh honey, you’re fine!” he reassured us. “The dining room closes at midnight but I’ve still got my cleaning to do so you take your time; I can tell you’re exhausted!”

We watched him hum and sing as he did his work; his cheerfulness helped ease the stress of the evening. I made sure we left him a generous tip to thank him for his kindness along with a brief note to let him know just how much his treatment of us meant before we drove away.

If you are ever around the Steak and Shake on 2717 Hurstbourne Parkway in Louisville, KY, I highly recommend you stop in for a bite.

And please say hi to Leo for me.

We arrived home around 2:40am completely exhausted. I was asleep before my head hit the pillow!

I cannot thank my best friend enough for having my back last night, so here’s a shout-out:

You are awesome, Kes!

A Tale of Gratitude

I have no idea how much money I spent last night. To my immense gratitude, I had more than enough.

This is why I’m doing this. This is why I am busting my ass, scrimping and saving as I invest my pennies. Just a few short years ago this adventure would have ruined my finances. Just a few short years ago I would have been nervously counting every penny, praying that I had enough to make the trip.

But I don’t have to do that now.

While I can’t afford to do this often, the fact that I was able to spend freely during the chaos of last night is proof positive that I am heading in the right direction.

It is proof that living cheaply has its limits; there is absolutely no benefit to cutting your expenses unless you actually keep the money that you saved. Until you learn how to make your money work for you frugality is pointless because all you will end up doing is lingering at the bottom of the Food Chain.

Unless you learn to invest the money that you saved you will never be able to achieve true peace of mind.

I am so very thankful that I finally figured it out. I am so grateful that I decided to leave my comfort zone of poverty and start heading in the opposite direction.

And this should be a lesson to you. If an old woman with a high-school education who brings in less than $700 a month can not only manage to invest over $2,000 in under a year and build up her emergency fund to the point where she can safely afford to spend her way through a crisis, you can too.

Don’t ever let them tell you that you can’t.

Broken Bones

I received a letter from Katie yesterday. As I was reading it the phone rang.

It was the kid.

She’d suffered multiple stress fractures in her right leg during a PT test in addition to injuring her knee. As a result, the Navy was sending her home.

To say that she was disappointed would be an understatement. Even with a fractured leg she was only 14 seconds shy of achieving her time on her PT test that day.

Well, shit.

I kinda liked this empty nest thing but I can’t fault the kid for getting hurt. I know from experience just how easy it is to be injured in the military. I’m just grateful it was caught before her leg shattered.

She’ll be shipped home in about two weeks. After that comes the process of helping the kid heal and building her up for her next adventure. Only time will tell what it will be.

In the meantime there is a bright spot. She’ll continue to share the bills once she gets back on her feet. She’s already gotten two job offers locally now that the news is emerging. That will give her time to recuperate and figure out her next step while making life a bit easier on me once she recovers.

Life is still good. It’s completely chaotic at the moment, but it’s still good.

So what’s been going on in your world? Please share your stories in the comments below.

First Month Without Katie

I just finished paying the first round of bills without the kid sharing half of the expenses.

I made it. I even had a bit to spare.

I must confess that I was worried so I clamped down drastically on my spending. I’m not quite sure why I was worried (this isn’t my first rodeo, after all), but that old demon Fear loves to play games with me.

In order to reposition myself for the future, I’ve decided to actively use up some of the stockpiles I’ve acquired over the past few years. Cleaning supplies, cosmetics, paper products, food–all this and more are going to be used before I purchase more. This will allow me to not only safely stretch my finances while I adapt, it will provide the opportunity to use up some of the things around here while I learn just how much I use when it’s just me as well as free up physical space in this little home.

This girl has got to go back to the basics, build her foundation, in order to move forward. Who am I? What do I want out of my life? These questions have been running through my mind since the tearful day I said farewell to my daughter.

There is life after parenthood. I’m going to embrace it. This is the first time in my entire life that I’ve been really, truly free to discover who I am. My dad died when I was just getting started; before I recovered from that I found myself pregnant. Even when you count my childhood years I’ve spent the majority of my life caring for others.

Now it’s time to take care of me.

Have you ever noticed that, for females, life seems to be focused so much on caring for others that it almost ends when all you’ve got to focus on is yourself? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

The Miracle of Water

It was close to midnight. I padded into the kitchen to quench my thirst and picked up the water pitcher.

I blinked at the heft. Huh? I raised it up to examine the water level. It was full.

My water pitcher is never full. The only way I can ever get a drink of water out of it is to fill it up, let it drip through the filter and then immediately pour a glass. This has gone on for so long that I’d become convinced that the Household Gods were determined that I die of dehydration.

“Hmph!” I filled my glass, topped off the pitcher, and returned to bed. It had to be a fluke.

The next morning I headed to the coffeepot. I paused, staring in shock.

The water pitcher was still full.

“Hokay, that’s strange,” I mumbled as I poured myself a cuppa Joe. Twice in a row? My Household Gods must be on vacation!

Before I left for work I filled a water bottle, topped off the pitcher once more, and headed out.

It was full when I got home!

Maybe, just maybe, the Household Gods that always seemed to drink my water or mess up my house, maybe they went on more than a simple vacation.

Maybe they went off to the Navy.

Hmmm.

I can have some fun with this!

New Beginnings

This is it.

Last night I said my final farewell to the kid. The very last call was scripted, just letting me know that she had arrived safely and that she would be out of contact for the next couple of weeks.

I am now officially free of the full burden of motherhood.

It started a few days ago. We had a farewell party for the kid. Here are a few photos to mark the occasion:

Once the party was over (I didn’t show photos of others to protect their privacy), Katie made one final trip to say goodbye to her best friend who died. She left here on the 2 year anniversary of Emery’s death:

After her farewells, we kept it normal until the recruiter drove up to carry her away. She gifted me with some earrings to wear while she was gone in order to keep her close. I donned those to watch her pull away.

I had quietly arranged to take the next day off, to see her one last time at MEPS. It was going to be a surprise but her uncle spoiled it when he saw us walk in. Darnit!

.I would include a photo of her uncle but he’s a rather high-ranked member of the military so I’m unsure of the wisdom. I will take the cautious route and not. I hope you understand.

Waiting at MEPS for Katie with her sister.

Katie’s final, official swear-in. She is now an official member of the US Navy.

One last meal together before we part ways.

I thought Katie was going to cry when we gave each other our final farewells but we all stayed strong. I’ve spent the past few days with tears streaming down my face so for now I believe I’m cried out.

Her last call was late last night. It was scripted. “I’m here. I’m okay. You will get a package in the mail soon. You will hear from me in approximately 2-3 weeks. I love you. Bye.”

So it is over. The 29 years I spent as a parent with kids at home have come to an end.

I intend to take the next few days to decompress. I want to get in the proper headspace before I move forward.

It is time to take a deep breath, relax, and to move on.

That is all any of us can do when we reach a turning point in our lives. We just need to breathe, realize that it is not the end of the world, and figure out what we want to do next.

I’ve already gotten the bones of that path started so I doubt much will change aside from my living circumstances. Just in case, however, I don’t intend to make any sudden moves until I know I am okay. While I’m a bit more okay than I was the day I watched her drive away, I know I’m not there yet.

We will all be okay at the end of the story. We can survive more than we realize.

I’ll write more when I can.

The Changing Winds of Life

It has been one helluva week here in this tiny little home.

Katie decided that she had placed her life on hold for long enough. She’d sacrificed several scholarships and opportunities for a relationship that went bust, so she decided to correct that.

On Monday she decided that she would join the Navy. The Army was out, despite our family’s history of it, since she didn’t want to even remotely follow in her ex-fiancée’s footsteps or chance running across him again.

Tuesday she contacted the local Navy recruiter.

Wednesday he arrived at the house and we spent the whole day doing paperwork. I ended up emailing documents back and forth until late in the evening.

Thursday morning she left for MEPS.

Friday evening she returned home after signing a 4-year contract.

She leaves February 19.

I’ve known this time was coming since the day she was born. That knowledge doesn’t ease the shock I feel at this moment. To give such a huge portion of your life to another person, only to have them grow up and move on is a sacrifice all parents make.

That doesn’t make it easier.

I am going to be fine. I have my public job to keep me socialized so I will have people to talk to face to face. I have my writing career. I have my 20-year goal of financial freedom to focus on…

…and I have you to keep me sane.

Your comments and messages have kept me sane for years now. They keep me moving forward. They give me a reason to sit down at this computer every morning and keep trying.

I cannot express how thankful I am to have you in my life.

Thank you for being there.

Update on Katie

It has been a challenging week or so around this tiny house. The kid had a major dust-up with her fiancée so the wedding is off. She spent a week at a friend’s house mourning the change but came back home the other evening.

Now she’s exploring her own path to the future.

We have a Navy recruiter coming to the house this morning. I know nothing about the Navy so this should be interesting.

Despite it being my day off I woke up early to don my warpaint and prepare for the encounter. I feel more secure when I’m wearing my warpaint, silly as it sounds. I’ve brewed a big pot of coffee as I sit here mentally preparing for the encounter.

I honestly believe that the military will help instill the grit she needs to navigate our challenging world. That said, if I tell her that or actively encourage her…well, she’s reached the point in her life where Mom is always wrong, so I don’t want to inadvertently encourage her to run the other way.

I want the decision to be hers so for this, aside from any questions, I need to keep my big mouth shut.

Wish me luck. Keeping quiet has never been my strong point.

What’s been going on with you lately? Please share your updates in the comments below.

Counting Down the Days

It is finally starting to hit my daughter that she will be moving soon. This morning she wandered around the house a bit before asking when I had to leave for work. As soon as she discovered that I work the evening shift she offered to treat me to my new favorite place, the Main Cup coffee shop.

We settled down in our corner spot to enjoy our drinks and relax for the remainder of the morning. Katie immediately whipped out her phone and started snapping photos.

“Why are you so picture crazy these days?” I asked, intrigued by the fact that here lately she’s been snapping photos of me constantly.

“I want to have something to remember this time,” she replied. “This way we will both have something to remind us of these last few days.”

It is comforting to know that I’m not the only one facing the emotional upheaval of our eventual separation. While I am thankful that she is moving out to start her own life, we’ve spent almost 20 years together. That’s her whole life and a good portion of mine as well. This is going to be difficult on both of us, I’m afraid.

While she did her thing I pulled out my journal and started writing. It felt so luxuriously wonderful to hang out in a coffee shop sipping an espresso while I journaled. It has been years since I’ve had the opportunity. Memories of writing my very first books and articles in the coffee shops of Paducah danced through my head as I poured my soul upon the pages until Katie captured my attention. She turned her iPad around to show me what she had been tinkering on.

It was this photo.

I’m going to really miss her when she’s gone.

Katie’s Graduation

The big day finally arrived. My youngest, the reason I worked so hard to live on less, finally graduated high school.

It was a bittersweet day. I spent close to 20 years striving to work less so that I could spend as much time with her as possible. I swam against the current as a single mom but this day marked the moment where the journey was finally over.

My baby is now an adult even more so than she was when she turned 18.

A friend of mine drove over four hours to celebrate with us. The first thing we did that day was surprise her with flowers.

The next thing we did was take her and her boyfriend out to Olive Garden. We wanted to make this a day she would never forget.

We gifted the kids with a round of gag gifts. Her boyfriend C really got a kick out of one of them!

As we told him, we figured that since he was going into the Army he could use the guy for practice! Oh how he laughed! His real gift was a journal in which we inscribed “to keep track of your future adventures with Katie.” He was touched.

We also got him a set of crowns so he could remind Katie of who was the “king” – complete with spares for when she knocks them off his head! She got a tiara, of course – she is my princess!

After digging out some other gifts Katie finally got around to her big one from my friend. I’d given her my gift earlier because I didn’t want to detract from the moment. Here’s the expression on her face when she realized that my friend had gifted her with a pair of diamond earrings.

Once the dust had settled C had another surprise for my daughter. I was the only one aside from him who knew his plan. He smiled at her and announced. “I’ve got something to go with those earrings.”

That was when he proposed.

After all of that we still weren’t done. We drove them around and took lots of photos of them to mark the big day.

Once we dropped them off so they could do their thing prior to graduation my friend and I went out for a good stiff drink to mark the end of an era. We both needed it by then. My friend had known her since she was a baby and I needed liquid strength to get through the graduation ceremony. Not only was my youngest daughter graduating, I was lost. I’d spent so many years trying to be the best mom I could be, trying to spend as much time with her as I could. It didn’t help that, like my daughter, my dad had been dying of terminal cancer as well when I had graduated from that very same high school. I was filled with bittersweet memories, all of which came to the surface as I sipped on my Jack and Coke.

Thus prepared, we headed to the stadium for the graduation ceremony. We looked around, relieved to see that her dad, my ex-husband, actually managed to attend. He’d had Hospice take him. Once the ceremony finished we met up with the kids and took some more photos. I’m the one with the red shirt and big boobs.

So this is it, folks. The end of an era. My goal of raising my daughter is complete. Katie has not only graduated high school, but she’s engaged as well.

I’m both proud and sad.

Public Transportation

Today my daughter and I decided to explore the public transportation available locally. Translation: We rode the bus to the Mall. I calculated the cost of the trip for myself and my daughter round-trip we would have used at least a gallon of gas in my van, not including wear and tear on the vehicle.

The round trip cost us three bucks at full-price.

At current gas prices, we basically broke even, adding wear and tear into the calculation. When you figure up the fact that I got to sit and relax instead of drive, we were a bit ahead of the game. Considering that I prefer riding to driving, it was soo nice to hop on the bus and let someone else navigate the traffic while I sat and enjoyed the scenery, chatting with my daughter.

At the Ky Oaks Mall we discovered that Borders Bookstore is now closing, but we got some great deals. Katie got a bug catching kit complete with an insect identification booklet, a small gel ink pen set, a novel about horses, and a ruler with horses on it. I got a dead-tree edition of “The Secret,” a street map of Paducah and an imitation thousand-dollar bill.

We looked around the stores, played in one of the photography booths, grabbed a Frappachino at Starbucks, then headed back to the bus stop. We arrived in perfect time, for moments after we arrived we saw the bus coming our way!

Tomorrow the van needs to go in for some work (the electric window decided to stop working), so when we take the van in we plan to hitch a ride downtown and hop on the trolley to explore the library and riverfront some more.

I am looking forward to the opportunity to explore without having to worry about traffic! Got a book of bus tickets, 10 tickets for six dollars, and figure we’ll just have fun enjoying the fact that we now live in a place that actually has public transportation!

While I have read a copy of “The Secret” in the past, I have wanted to add a copy to my book collection and cuddle up and read it again. That book has really made an incredible change to our lives!

The Law of Attraction is just wonderful!

The hundred-dollar bill that I posted on my vision board has finally come to fruition. We will be getting a check from Social Security for a little over a hundred dollars a month for my daughter now.

Actually two things have come to pass. No longer will I be accused of not reporting income that I really didn’t receive (my ex-husband apparently told the Social Security Admin. that she was living with him and it started showing up on my income), but thanks to the nice people at the Administration, my ex-husband will no longer be a threat to us.

He will be too busy dealing with the misappropriation charges against him for all the money they have given him for our daughter, especially since the whole time he was filing court papers against me saying that he never saw her…

Plus they are going to make sure that our other daughter is getting full use of her check. I have heard that she is going around having to struggle to get things she needs, so they are going to make sure that she is getting what she is due.

Considering the amount of money I gather he received for Katie alone, I have been told that he may be facing jail time, especially since they have proof in all of his affadavits that he wasn’t seeing our youngest daughter.

For those of you who are wondering, and thinking I’m an evil person for keeping myself and my daughter away from him – I don’t dare go around my ex. He promised that the only way I would get away from him is if “one of us died,” and while I was in that area – well, it was in my best interests to leave if I enjoyed breathing.

Whenever he finds my location and/or phone number, things start happening. It starts with phone calls, breathing, random hangups, death threats – then strange things start happening around my home.

I stay as far away from that man as a result now. Judge me how you will. I won’t even go to that little section of the state in fear of what he would do if he saw me there…

I have told the SSA that I do not want him to have a clue as to where we live for safety reasons, and they have promised to keep my information confidential. Either way, they don’t have my street address, just a post office box. I’m not taking any chances.

But the Law of Attraction is working things out. Soon all the evil he has dealt to others will come back to him. I don’t wish him ill, I just wish him out of my existence. It is happening.

The delay is the hardest part of the Law of Attraction to deal with. If you are like me, you want what you want NOW, not some time in the future. But honestly, if I got everything I wished for instantly, I wouldn’t enjoy life very much. Part of the enjoyment is in the anticipation.

Right now I am working on attracting the means to place my daughter in a much better school. I want her to be safe, and have great experiences and get an excellent education. I want her to be happy, and learn about life on the right side of the tracks. I come from the wrong side of them, and want her to have — well, I want her to comfortably see how the ‘other half’ lives so that she can have a choice in how she lives her life.

I want her safe and protected, with no chance that anyone can kidnap her to get back at me. That is what I want to attract for her. The best life I can give her.

Daily Mumblings

I spent a portion of last night relaxing and listening to music, and woke up to an email that my old company is hiring more people.

So I have reapplied.

I enjoyed that position.

Also fixed homemade biscuits and gravy for breakfast, watched my daughter play with her beads (she actually made a skirt from beading today), worked a tad on the house and enjoyed life.

I am working on another painting. When it is finished I will post a photo here…

Peace to all,
Annie