How to Motivate Yourself to Improve

It can be hard to find the energy or motivation to improve yourself these days. By the time you get home from work (or even wade through a chaotic day at home), you feel as if you have nothing left to give.

“I’ll do it when I feel better,” you typically say.

The problem with that decision, however, is that “feeling better” never comes. Inevitably, something will always arise that prevents you from working towards your goals.

Even worse, the longer you put it off, the easier it gets to procrastinate.

I encountered this situation shortly after my divorce. Forced by circumstances to work multiple jobs, I spent a mind-boggling amount of time either working, cleaning my home, and caring for my children.

I was stuck in survival mode. I wanted to improve myself. I wanted to take a correspondence class in computer repair, but I had no time to do it.

I was so exhausted that I cried myself to sleep each night. Just getting through the day was so draining; how could I manage to do even more?

I let the bad days motivate me.

Despite my misgivings, I paid for the class.

Every time something bad or simply frustrating happened, I’d promise myself that it would get better. I was doing something to make it better. This wouldn’t last; there was an end in sight.

That end would be the day I finished my course and started my computer repair business.

It’s amazing how that tiny shift in self-talk allowed me to dig deep, to find the time I needed to study. I found myself examining every moment of my life. Every time I felt the desire to throw up my hands I would ask myself “How can I finish this class faster?”

I began to look at my day with different eyes. That 30-minute lunch, the lunch I used to recharge a bit in order to make it through my shift?

I could use some of that time to study.

I began to take my books to work with me. My coworkers teased me, but after a bit they left me alone. I would nibble on my meal as I worked through the lessons.

Even if I only managed a paragraph, I knew that I was one paragraph closer to a better life.

Before I knew it, I was studying before I went to bed each night. I carried my workbooks everywhere. If I had to wait in line, I pulled out my book.

On particularly frustrating days, I made a point of studying even more. Every paragraph, every page took me closer to a better life, a life where I wouldn’t have to work so hard, a life where I could actually get some rest.

And it paid off.

In under a year I finished that class. Before I sent in the last few lessons, I took out an ad in the local paper to offer my services.

My life changed after that.

I stopped having to pick up extra shifts at work. I quit two of my jobs. While I kept the restaurant job for financial security (self-employment income is never guaranteed), I adjusted my hours based upon my needs.

In time I was able to take summers off from that job.

Eventually the skills I gained during that time allowed me to build an online business that enabled me to reach a dream that many claimed was unattainable. I became a stay-at-home single mom.

You CAN improve your life

Wherever you are right now, whatever your current situation, you can improve your life, too.

All you have to do is motivate yourself to do the work.

Look around. Use the bad days to motivate you. Ready to scream at your boss? Take a deep breath. Remind yourself that you are on your way out. Tell yourself that when you get home, you will study and work towards building the skills that will allow you to move to a better place. Soon, instead of complaining, you will be grateful for the bad days, because the bad days will motivate you to work even harder.

You will find yourself making immense progress every single day instead of just wanting to scream.

This was why, instead of just quitting my current job to focus upon my goal of skill-building as I decide upon the path I want to take to re-enter the computer field that I resolved to keep working. It’s easier to find the time and motivation to do the work when you’re surrounded by things that frustrate you.

Now, instead of focusing on the things I like about my current job, I look at the things that frustrate me. If I wake up sore after a rough day, I remind myself that I am on the path to an easier job, maybe even a job I can do at home.

All I have to do is keep studying.

Don’t let the bad days get you down. Use those bad days to spur you forward. Every time something makes you want to throw up your hands in defeat look around. Ask yourself if you can find another block of time that you can use to work on your dream, and then do it.

Are you allowed to listen to music at work? Why not listen to audiobooks on your chosen field instead?

Do you check social media on your breaks? Download an ebook to your phone and read that instead.

Does it take you a few minutes to fall asleep at night? Listen to a lecture on the subject as you fall asleep. You can even play audiobooks as you sleep; you may not retain as much as you would by actively listening, but you will retain some information–and that will build up over time.

Stop just plopping down in front of the television at night.

Just stop it.

Think about your asshole of a boss. Think about the raise you deserve but were cheated out of. Think about how you are forced to do the work of several people, and use it to drive you forward.

Feel the rage and use it to better yourself.

It works.

Have you ever allowed bad days to motivate yourself to change your life? Why or why not? What were the results? Please share your stories in the comments below.

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I’ve written a lot of books sharing my odd view of life in hopes of helping others. My most notorious book is titled The Shoestring Girl: How I Live on Practically Nothing and You Can Too, but The Minimalist Cleaning Method is pretty popular as well. You can find them at the following places:

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How Do You Spend Your Time?

“To come but once into the World, and Trifle away our true Enjoyment of it, and of our selves in it, is lamentable indeed.”
William Penn (1706). Some Fruits of Solitude, in reflections and maxims relating to the conduct of human life.

These past few days I’ve had little to do but rest and think. It occurred to me that our lives have gotten so busy that we may not be doing enough thinking. It is only through self-reflection that we can learn and grow; barring that exercise, we run the risk of becoming stagnant.

While theories abound concerning the Afterlife, all that we know for certain is that we only have one life to live. That life, in the grand scheme of things, is woefully short. Therefore, it can only benefit us if we focus upon the things that truly matter. We don’t have enough time to do everything, so it only makes sense that we eliminate the distractions that would cause us to waste this irreplaceable resource.

Consider how you spend your day. How much of your time do you spend engaging in activities that don’t benefit you? Does your quality of life improve when you sit in front of a television, or does that time make you feel inferior because you don’t have the money to buy their suggestions or the skills to live the lives your heroes lead?

If so, then why torture yourself by watching it?

Does it make you feel good to visit Facebook and see the posts of others bragging about their latest meals, purchases, or experiences? Do you feel happy reading the political vitriol that is being shared by your friends?

Does it feel good to wander through a store searching for a particular item, or could a quick online purchase eliminate the need to spend your priceless time hunting for it in a store and then standing in line to purchase it?

The above is just an example of the questions you can ask yourself as you go through your day.

I have been asking myself these very same questions recently. I have discovered a lot about who I am through the asking.

My personal revelations about how I’ve been wasting the priceless resource of my time made me realize that I may not be alone in this situation. Society seems determined to keep our minds so distracted that we don’t stop to consider our actions. It has become verboten to take time away from our lives to contemplate. If we are doing nothing, we are wrong so we fill up every moment with tasks, entertainment, and social media instead.

It makes me wonder if there is a reason why we are discouraged from thinking anymore.

We expend an immense amount of thought about how we spend our money; since our time is irreplaceable, shouldn’t we treat it with even more respect? In the end, while we can always make more money, we are incapable of adding more time to our lifespan.

How do you spend the priceless resource of your time? Are there areas you would like to change? Please continue this conversation in the comments below.

References

Penn, W. (1706). Some Fruits of Solitude, in reflections and maxims relating to the conduct of human life. The seventh edition. T. Sowle: London.

The Facebook Fast

As time ticked closer to the start of my first semester I began to worry: where would I get the time to attend college? I work more hours than ever at my public job; between that and my writing business (not including my regular household duties) I was already approaching my limit.

Perplexed, I revisited my old friend Minimalism in search of ideas. Minimalism is the art of eliminating the unimportant to provide space for the important. This process is different for everyone. Some may want to eliminate excess stuff from their lives to free up space and finances while others (like me) may simply need to carve some time out in their busy lives to focus on achieving a lifelong goal.

I spent the next several days simply observing my life as I asked the question How do I spend my time? As busy as I was, I knew that I didn’t spend every single moment involved in productive endeavors, so my goal was to locate the primary leak in the ship of my time and eliminate it.

The answer came fairly quickly. Each morning as I sat down with my coffee I would open Facebook to see what my friends had been up to and respond to the messages that had arrived during the night. As I moved through my day, I noticed that I spend a tremendous amount of time responding to messages from family and friends as I strove to accomplish my daily tasks before I went to my public job.

Sometimes these conversations would become so distracting that I would lose track of time and have to rush to finish my necessary tasks before racing out the door.

My evenings weren’t much different. Each night I would plop down in my computer chair to relax and unwind a bit from my shift. I would open Facebook automatically and continue the procedure.

Sometimes I would spend so much time there that I would barely be able to keep my eyes open as I completed my nightly reading ritual before going to sleep.

I asked myself: Did I receive anything beneficial from the time I spent on Facebook each day?

The answer was a resounding no. While it was nice to keep track of my friends and family, there was nothing there that was truly relevant. Whenever someone in my life did share something important, they usually contacted me directly to distribute the news.

I took a deep breath. I have friends who enjoy reaching out to me about the minutia of their day on Facebook. I enjoy hearing from them and sharing pieces of my personal day as well. Could I truly limit or eliminate my time spent on the platform in light of this knowledge?

Eventually I decided to re-phrase the question: Would anything bad happen if I eliminated Facebook from my daily habits?

The answer was no.

I reached out to my friends and explained the situation, encouraging them to use email when they needed to reach me for something important and then I summoned my resolve and eliminated Facebook from my daily routine.

The results were astounding. That very first day I actually found myself bored.

I was so startled at that boredom that I actually celebrated. I’d not experienced boredom—true boredom–since I was a child whiling away my summer months in the Mountains. The sensation was enlightening.

We tend not to realize that the simplest of actions can have immense repercussions. Turning on the television after work can result in an evening wasted. Hanging out with friends can cause one to lose track of time so that they have to rush to accomplish their tasks (if they get done at all).

And turning on Facebook to browse the Feed can result in a journey down the Rabbit Hole of Distraction that can steal a shameful amount of hours from one’s life.

My life has changed for the better since my decision to turn my back on Facebook. Now that I have stopped visiting my Feed, opting instead to check my messages once or twice a day instead of lurking in the lives of others I have more time for myself as well as my studies.

I can wake up, drink my coffee, and perform my daily tasks with time to spare each day. Depending upon when my shift starts, I am now able to grab the occasional nap before I head in so that I can arrive refreshed instead of exhausted.

In the evenings I can turn on some relaxing classical music, curl up with a book, and feel the tension draining from my body at the end of the hectic day.

I am calmer now that I have time to spare. The persistent tension between my shoulder blades is now a memory. I not only feel better physically, my mind is developing a clarity I hadn’t known was possible.

Time is Finite

Each moment we spend, for good or ill, is lost forever. Instead of spending those moments thoughtlessly, manage them as carefully as you manage your finances.

Unlike money, time is something we can never regain once it’s gone.

Think well before you waste it.

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What one item in your life can you eliminate to regain your time? Please share your stories in the comments below. If you found this post helpful, share it with a friend as well.

You might change their life for the better.

It is Okay to Guard Your Time

I started wearing a ring on my wedding finger a few weeks back. I had become tired of being hit on by the numerous men who thought it was appropriate to distract me at my job. I am single for a reason; I’ve got something I want to accomplish. I’ll never be able to achieve my goals if I spend my time going out on dates. Even worse, the unwanted attention was beginning to interfere with my day job as I actively attempted to avoid the more persistent males.

It worked. Now I am able to focus all of my attention on my work which allows me to give my employer my best performance. I might not make much there but I like the store I work at and I want them to do well.

It speaks volumes about our society when a person is forced to pretend that she is in a relationship in order to work in public unmolested but at this point, I could care less about debating the subject. If I have to lie about my relationship status to eliminate the distraction then so be it.

Our Time is Limited

Time is a finite resource. We only have 24 hours each day to work towards our dreams and at 48 years of age, I’m running a bit behind. I have to hit this hard if I want to achieve success. That means I need to spend as much time as I can learning and growing if I want to achieve true freedom before I die.

We all have goals we want to achieve. Whatever the goal, the more time we spend engaging in distractions, the longer it will take to accomplish them. No one cares about your goals as much as you do; if you let them, the people that surround you will drag you down and prevent you from achieving success.

Don’t let that happen.

What is the one area of your life that is stealing time from your goals? Please share your stories in the comments below.