The Process of Recharging

Day by day, in every way, I’m getting better and better.

Émile Coué de la Châtaigneraie

I sleep in when I can. I rest instead of endlessly working. Bit by bit, I can tell a difference.

Instead of scolding the dogs for their excitement in the mornings when they wake me to go potty, I gather my coat and take them out without a word.

Instead of sighing in frustration when my co-workers page me for help at work I cry “help is on the way!” and race to the front with a laugh.

Instead of internally bitching when someone wants a few minutes of my time on the phone or in-person I give it to them. I limit it, as I’m still drained, but I’ve regained enough energy that I can safely give something back.

When I have a small spurt of energy I get up and do something that needs to be done. Last night as I visited with a friend I noticed that my dog’s collars needed washing so I pulled them off and scrubbed them while we chatted.

Five minutes later I was one task closer to catching up on my backlog.

The fridge is slowly getting emptied of the detritus the kid left behind. Her little Katie-piles are being dealt with as I stumble across them.

I’ve brainstormed one thing I can do now to improve my quality of living and I’ve taken steps to make it happen. I’ll cover that in a future post when it is more than just a plan.

I’ve even went back to tinkering on my plan to reduce my smoking. I’d started on a plan before things blew up around Thanksgiving but let it go due to the chaos that surrounded me. Now that things are calming down, I’ve gotten back to work on my goal of being a nonsmoker.

Last but not least, I’m processing my emotions with my journal. I fill several pages a day with random thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I find my thoughts repeating. I dutifully jot them down regardless. The very fact that I’m noticing the repetition is a good sign.

I suspect that my internal battery had been operating in the red zone for quite some time though life had been a bit too chaotic for me to notice it. I’ve been pushing myself quite hard for a couple of years now in order to make up for time lost back when I was injured, and even harder once I’d decided to teach myself about investing while focusing more on this website. Between that and everything else I suspect I’ve been heading for this physical and emotional crash for quite some time.

And that’s okay. It’s okay because I’m taking steps now to correct the issue, and I’m aware of the fact that I need to slow down, which makes me a wiser person.

I’ve got something I want to do. I’m not letting go of that, but I’ve realized that in order to accomplish that goal I’ve got to take care of myself now in a way that I’ve never really been able to do before.

So I am still here, and I am still fighting. I will do whatever it takes to achieve financial freedom, and I still intend to take you on that journey with me.

This is part of the process.

Are you still working towards your goals? Please share your stories in the comments below.

6 thoughts on “The Process of Recharging”

  1. I just want to tell you that you are such an inspiration to me! I have bought several of your books and read your blog for years. Keep up the good work!!

    /Love from Sweden

  2. GO YOU for your attempts to quit smoking! It’s one of the most powerful addictions. I know someone who quit smoking and quit heroin and he told me that quitting smoking was the harder thing. Still, if you’re looking for self-care, it is probably the very best single thing you can do for yourself. My mother, father, stepfather, grandfather, and brother all died from illnesses from smoking. You’re still quite young and your lungs can heal themselves, there is still time. And think of the money you’ll save! Just a suggestion: you do so little for yourself….maybe think about taking the money you spend on cigarettes and putting it aside for something totally unnecessary just for you, something “frivolous” that would make you very happy but you wouldn’t dream of spending the money on. Smoking brings you pleasure, and you deserve that in your life. Don’t take that pleasure away without replacing it with something that will make you smile. <3 <3 <3

    1. Thank you so much, Melanie! I’ve only been smoking for about eight years. When I go a day or so without it, I can feel an immense difference. That keeps me trying. I’ll get there one way or another!

  3. I am rehabbing my arthritic joints and degenerative disc disease in my spine. The prescription: stress management, pain management, weight management, physical therapy, and exercise. It’s been very slow going, but I am seeing progress. I keep a five year journal — with a paragraph for each year on the same page. As I make entries and look back a year ago (when I began the rehab process), I can see the progress!

    I quit smoking many years ago on my 7th try. At that time, I learned in a smoking cessation support group that it takes the average person 7 tries before they quit for good. It’s totally worthwhile to keep working at it. Have faith, and keep trying

    You are an inspiration, Annie!

    1. Thank you, Belinda! I’ve seen those 5-year diaries. Those are fascinating! The thought of just jotting down a small paragraph each day in order to measure progress is extremely tempting! I’ve been tempted to start doing that just so that I can look back each day and see how far I’ve come.

      And thank you for the encouragement about smoking. I intend to keep trying until I become a non-smoker. Eventually, I’ll get there!

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