Once upon a time I cared what people thought. If someone suggested that I do this or that, I would bend over backwards trying to make it happen.
When I found myself as a divorced single mother, I found that I had to ignore everyone’s advice in order to make things work. Instead of “finding a good man to take care of” me and my kids, I decided to go a different path.
I caught a lot of flak for that.
Eventually the kids grew up. After my youngest moved out at the end of 2020 I realized that it was safe to start spending more money than I typically had in the past. I’d relied on extreme frugality combined with minimalism to ensure that we’d always had enough and I wanted a change. It was time to shake things up as I launched into a new adventure.
One of the biggest changes I decided to make was to purchase a brand-new vehicle. It was the first brand-new vehicle I had ever owned.
When word got out that I’d purchased that SUV, those in my circle went nuts. Had I won the lottery?
No, I had not won the lottery. I’d simply decided that it was now safe to treat myself.
People began to come out of the woodwork. Folks that I had not spoken to in years decided that they wanted to reconnect. One relative whom I had personally overheard describing me as a “waste of humanity” called me up after scoping out my books online to ask what I was currently working on. She had some ideas I could use.
I hadn’t changed but people’s perception of me had.
I learned a valuable lesson from the experience. I discovered that people are shallow. They don’t take the time to see the heart of a person. They look at the outside and make their decisions.
I decided that if people can’t be bothered to look inside the soul of another before they judge a person’s value, they aren’t worth my time and energy.
That was the day I lit my last fuck on fire. I laughed as I watched it burn.
It does not matter if you are rich or poor, pretty or ugly. Someone, somewhere will find a reason to criticize you. They will come up to you and tell you that if you only changed this one thing, that you would be richer, better, prettier, or smarter.
But none of them know the truth of the matter. You are more than enough already.
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What event led you to realize that other people’s opinions of you did not matter? Please share your stories in the comments below.
5 responses to “Why I Stopped Caring What People Think (And You Can Too)”
I guess I never learned that. At nearly 78 I still care what other’s think of me.
I think the only reason I worked it out was after I bought that car. Seriously, I was the same person I’ve always been, you know? But I’ve been treated differently by family and some friends ever since. It’s weird lol
For some inexplicable reason I seem to have been born not caring what others thought of me. I have always chosen comfort over fashion despite comments from others. I have learned over years that it’s a good way of keeping shallow people away and causing souls similar to mine to reach out and connect with me. I highly recommend it.
Thanks Annie for this and your dog/A.C. posts. Always get something from your writing and wisdom. Still hoping for another book perhaps some of your insights about your transition from the time your youngest moved out to now…
nice to see you are writing more often..I chuckle because i sometimes say that every needs one rusty heap of a vehicle as a “friend tester” . Show up just once at his or her house with said rust bucket and their reaction will indicate whether they are friend material or not.
Remember folks, if they don’t love you in your rust bucket ….they don’t deserve a ride in your bmw😂
That is absolutely brilliant! 😹